Adelaide CofD News Stories

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OOC: These news stories are published in various news outlets - TV, Radio, Newspaper etc. If your character does not subscribe to any of these things because they're a hermit or so ancient that these things are still very new to them, then disregard these news stories.

Glossary: Beefood (Buzzfeed), Twitbook (Facebook), Facewit (Twitter)

Disclaimer: These news stories are entirely fictional and are written for entertainment purposes only. Don't believe everything you read on the internet.

Last Update: 30/11/18

2018 News

SAPOL Not Tough Enough? (30/11/18)
With the recent terror scare still in the minds of Northern Surburbs residents, several groups of 'Concerned Citizens of Adelaide' have taken to social media demanding that police be tougher on crime, while also filling SAPOL's social media pages with criticisms and abuse. Calls for public gun ownership have also risen lately, with these 'Concerned Citizens of Adelaide' pushing for greater means of protecting themselves against yet another attack on the South Australian public.

SAPOL has declined to comment.

SAPOL warn against drug use ahead of Holiday Season (29/11/18)
SAPOL, along with SA Health, are cautioning members of the public to avoid recreational and illegal drug use ahead of the holiday season. It's understood that several new sources of dangerous substances such as heroin, methadone, cocaine and hallucinogenics have entered Adelaide over the past few months and police are urging members of the public to report any suspicious activity or behaviour that they might see this holiday season.

Elingston Family Trust set to open new charity for orphans ahead of recent tragedy (26/11/18)
With the tragic recent deaths of Louise and Jacob Elingston earlier this month, representatives of the late Elingston family have announced plans to start a new charity organisation for orphaned children in accordance with the late Louise's will. Several brand-new facilities, shelters and homes are scheduled to begin construction in 2019, with increased funding and scholarships available for both children and young adults alike.

SA Unemployment Rate drops to record low (23/11/18)
The South Australian Government has today revealed that the state's unemployment rate has fallen to a new all-time low of just 2.9%. It's believed that the multiple ongoing large-scale construction efforts are to thank, with a sudden influx of jobs for both skilled and unskilled labourers.

Deaths increasing in Adelaide hospitals (8/11/18)
SA Health have today released their quarterly report about the number of deaths in hospital, while it has decreased since the listeria out break towards the end of the report they noted that there has been a sharp increase in the number of deaths of administered patients, however this coincided with the blackout in which the hospitals lost power and were unable to keep unstable patients alive. A Representative from SA Health has stated that they believe this is an anomaly and once the next report is released the numbers will decrease, it was only because of the black out that so many deaths occurred.

Terrorist attack takes 25 lives (4/11/18)
A large scale terrorist attack took place last night in Elizabeth downs which saw the lives of 25 people tragically ended, eye witnesses report seeing large men dressed up as the comic book character Wolverine that were attacking people with actual claws that looked like the tiger claws weapons, this has resulted in the death of 13 children, 7 men and 5 women. Police are currently asking for more witnesses to come forward and are investigating the scenes involved. Police are also asking that if any members of the public have suspicions about who was involved, then can they please contact police so they can investigate


Mint Eye Announces New Product Launch (27/10/18)
In celebration of last year's record-breaking product test launch, Blue Phoenix Pty Ltd have announced a new range of flavours for their popular Mint Eye range of energy drinks! Sugar-Free, Double-Hit, Radsberry and a brand new all-natural 'Royal Mint' will all be released to the public in weekly waves starting on the 5th of November through to the 26th. Keep an eye out for your collectable holographic glass bottle!

Anti-Christmas Protest marches through Rundle Mall (26/10/18)
Fed up with the ongoing 'Christmas Fever' that's been all through stores lately as their Christmas Stock goes up, a group of angry shoppers marched through Rundle Mall this afternoon bearing Anti-Christmas signs, displays and even using a rendition of the Christmas Grinch as their mascot.

"We're just so sick and tired of all this Christmas crap going up earlier and earlier every year! No one wants to listen to Mariah Carey constantly on repeat, it's just horrible! The big retailers should cut it out!" said one angry protester, who declined to give their name.

Veale Gardens Restaurant Consumed by Flames (22/10/18)
In a tragic series of events, the renowned Adelaide Pavilion lounge and bar at Veale Gardens was consumed by flames last night. At just after Midnight, onlookers reported seeing the building alight, with patrons rushing out of the restaurant just as fire alarms went off. The cause of the fire is yet to be determined, however, it is believed to have been determined as non-suspicious and likely to have been a fault in the kitchen's electrical appliances -- no doubt a result of the Solar Flare event earlier this month.

38 were injured as a result of the blaze, with 7 tragically losing their lives. On an even more tragic note, among those lost were Louise and Jacob Elingston of the renowned Elingston Family, still recovering from the disappearance of their three children last year, who are still missing and are now, sadly, orphans.

World's Largest Christmas Tree (13/10/18)
Staying true to their promise, a 70m tall Christmas Tree was erected outside of K-Mart Rundle Mall this morning. The tree, now the largest in the world, was airlifted into the Mall via helicopter, much to the excitement of the crowd gathered nearby.

Elephantine Level Pranks in the Lead Up to Halloween (13/10/18)
Several reports from people claiming to have seen an elephant in the middle of Salisbury have been dismissed as part of a series of pranks in the area orchestrated in the lead up to Halloween at the end of this month. Residents are asked to only contact your local police if you believe you've seen something suspicious in relation to this, not 000 unless it is a true emergency.

Umbra Taxi Company Rated 5 Stars (13/10/18)
During a recent review, Umbra Taxi has come in on top for customer satisfaction, safety and security for drivers and passengers alike. With top notch vehicles and well-trained drivers, you never have to worry about getting to your destination on time again.

Contaminated Water (12/10/18)
Through more testings around the countryside of the small mining town of Roxby Downs, it has become clear to scientists that the increased amount if mutations in marsupials are related to the high traces of Uranium and Radioactivity within the areas Water supply, both above ground and below. A recently started Charity known as "Golden Trident" has begun sending through donations to the city of Roxby Downs as soon as the news hit, sending them truckloads of bottled water safe to drink and helping with any radioactive cleanup they can. Recently established Crystal Waves bottled water initiative has also committed support to the town, supplying truckloads worth of more water, with local stores receiving a bulk supply of stock in order to alleviate the issue.

"A town as small as this cannot survive pooling all their money resources into shipping water over, especially not the families" said the owner of the town's only nightclub who has been forced to halt serving beverages from tap until the water supply situation has been resolved.

Casting Call: Actors Wanted [Online/Newspapers] (12/10/18)
Local South Australian aspiring indie film director/producer William McLean is currently looking for 'attractive' men and women between the ages of 20 and 35 for both leading and supporting roles in his breakout debut drama/romance picture set in country SA. Those wishing to audition for any of these roles are asked to fill out an expression of interest form (attached below) and contact Imagineer Entertainment SA at imagineerentertainmentsa@gmail.com for more information.

((If your PC is interested in this please email the DST for more information.))


Adelaide Oval Roof Climb Ends in Tragedy (09/10/18)
The Adelaide Oval Roof Climb Experience, an iconic South Australian tourist activity that draws hundreds of visitors to the stadium each year, has been marred by tragedy today with the death of one of the climbers. An electrical fault caused a small fire in the facility, interfering with the usual safety measures resulting in their failure, leading to Canadian tourist Evangeline May's unfortunate death. The Roof Climb Experience will be closed while a safety audit is conducted.

Kangaroo Island Bridge begins construction (08/10/18)
The long-awaited Kangaroo Island Bridge project has finally begun its first stage of construction this morning as initial foundations were laid. South Australian Minister for Tourism Mr Bob Davies praised the cooperation between the Kangaroo Island Mayor and the South Australian Government, stating that: "With the last few pieces of red tape being cleared out of the way, we're now able to move forth and go about putting South Australia further up on the list of 'Places to be'."

The $4.5bn 14km overland bridge is expected to finish construction in early 2020.

SA Power Networks in Hot Water after Labour Day long weekend blackout (04/10/18)
Preliminary investigations into the cause of the five-day-long power outage that affected much of Adelaide's metropolitan regions and lead to the temporary closure of important infrastructure has revealed that SAPN is to blame. Initial findings are alleged to have discovered that maintenance on the network's infrastructure was not properly conducted over the past twelve months. This, in combination with aging wiring and capacitors, lead to an unexpected overload which then resulted in the network going offline.

CEO of SAPN, Kenneth Miller has announced his immediate resignation from the company, with no further comments being given.

CCTV Adelaide Initiative Launches (28/09/18)
With recent construction in Seaford and Gawler now being completed, the South Australian Government's CCTV Initiative is now expected to be fully operational. Feedback from local Councils has been largely in favor of the initiative since its initial conception earlier last year. Minister for Public Safety Johnathan Smith said the following: "Now that the works are completed. South Australian citizens can now rest easy and comfortable in the knowledge that we're working around the clock to maintain order and keep individuals, families, and businesses safe from vandals and criminals."

New Beauty Elixer of Life (26/09/18)
Clinic Faux Pa states it's found the new Elixer to looking and feeling younger. For a small fee of $15,000 people aged 35 and over are able to get infusions of Blood from younger people to feel and look rejuvenated. So far the Clinic claims to have given their beauty tips to Australian stars like Kylie Monogue praising her perfect skin on their treatments. "We are proud to offer our treatments along with other relaxing Spa treatments at our clinic located just opposite Rhymil park. If one should purchase one of our treatments we will even make the Consultation free of charge"


Solar Flare Inbound (21/09/18)

Experts from the Bureau of Meteorology are reporting that a solar flare is scheduled to occur over the Labour Day weekend.

Those wishing to spectate the event are being warned to not directly look at the flare due to the risk of possible eye damage.

A brief disruption to telecommunication networks is expected as a possible side effect of the event.

Kmart Announces Christmas Surprise (17/09/18)
Retail giant Kmart has announced their attempt at placing the Largest Christmas Tree ever outside their Rundle Mall location as a publicity stunt. The current record is held by an Unknown individual in Seattle USA with a Christmas Tree in the 1950s being a massive 67.36m tall, Kmart is hoping to beat that with a Tree the size of 70m tall!

Police searching for missing teen with key link to Surgeon Slasher (10/09/18)

In light of shocking new evidence provided by key eyewitnesses, Superintendent Rhiannon Jacobs of SAPOL's Major Crimes Investigation Team is now urging 17-year-old Belladonna Agnes to come forth and make herself known to Police.

"With this new evidence, we believe that we're now closer than ever to catching the Surgeon Slasher and placing them behind bars. We've identified a key missing link in the case, a young woman that's been missing for several months now. We're urging anyone with any information on Belladonna's whereabouts or recent history to come forward and speak to us. Belladonna, if you're out there... please come forward and help us close this case."

Attached is the most recent photograph of Belladonna Agnes, a young girl no older than 17 with long brown hair, green eyes, Caucasian complexion and slim build.

200-Year-Old Antique Chair found near Seaside Town (10/09/18)
Representatives from the South Australian Historical Trust were abuzz with excitement this morning when a group of local divers uncovered a waterlogged shipping crate just off the coast of Goat Island, near the town of Robe. The crate is believed to have been uncovered due to the recent seismic activity.

When brought ashore, the crate was revealed to contain a waterlogged but otherwise structurally intact, hand-carved replica of the Dragon Throne of the Chinese Emperors, which dates back to the Qing Dynasty.

"We believe that this item was part of a larger shipment carried by one of the first few Chinese merchant vessels that visited South Australia in the mid 1800s, but was dislodged from the vessel due to rough tides or a storm. While this item did not belong to the Chinese Imperial Family, the quality of the woodwork and level of care that was obviously put into its construction are proof enough that this item deserves to be carefully restored and put on display for connoisseurs of Chinese craftsmanship to enjoy."

The item is expected to be put on display at the Museum of South Australia in the coming months.

Christmas Hype Already! (08/09/18)
With Halloween not even out of the way Retail Boomers are excited for Christmas with all their Christmas products already arriving and going out on show. The Cheer however isn't felt by shoppers who have begun complaining after Hearing Mariah Carey's "All I want for Christmas is You" for the millionth time since September began. Retail Giant Kmart states this is to get a leg up on sales beginning already in online Stores like Amazon, Ebay and Wish. While everyone might be feeling Grinchy this early on we can't deny, everyone is pleased Eggnog is already out and ready for consumption.

Metal Singer Esmee Van de Berg out on Tour (06/09/18)
Local fans of Aussie Metal Singer Esmee Van de Berg are praising the singer's dedication to her music as her recently-announced Australian Tour goes ahead despite recent rumours of a violent altercation targeting her partner. Despite the relative last-minuteness of the Tour, she'll be performing at several live shows from the 7th through the 11th of September at Fowler's Live, Thebarton Theatre and The Gov.

Tickets are on sale now through Ticket-Tex and will also be available for purchase at the door.

Mutation Animal Research shows horrific results (04/09/18)
After the Discovery of Marsupials with Mutations in the Rural outback of Australia near the town of Roxby Downs Scientists believe to have found a contributing factor to these horrific extra limbs and eyes. While performing an Autopsy on a deceased mutated mammal and testing its Blood, Doctor Rajana Khatri found Lethal levels of Radiation within the Wallabies blood stream and upon collecting samples from other Wallabies in the area found similar dangerous levels of Radiation. "The Levels of Radiation within these Marsupials is currently high in the danger areas, it is important we find the source of this Radiation before it gets worse so that a quarantine zone can be set up in due time" Currently officials are searching the outback for possible sources of the Radiation, with the Uranium mine so close we urge citizens to avoid the area if necessary.



Sinkhole Opens in Barossa Goldfields (29/08/18)
Recent weather fluctuations leading to geological instability in the area have resulted in a sinkhole opening up in the Barossa Goldfields. Nobody was injured during the incident but the area and surrounding walking trails have been closed off until safety surveys can be completed.

Hantavirus Pulmonary Syndrome Under Control? (25/08/18)
Today SA Health said that the outbreak of Hantavirus pulmonary syndrome appears to be under control. In a statement their spokesperson said "after announcing the outbreak we noticed an increase of people visiting their GP's and emergency departments, as a result we found a total of 12 cases and were able to catch most of these early and have successfully treated them, however there were 2 deaths believed to be associated with the disease. while we believe that we are in the clear, we are still encouraging people that are unwell to visit their doctors".

Crystal Waves Bottled Water - An Adelaide Initiative (25/08/18)
Crystal Waves - Bottled Water with a Difference
Crystal Waves is the Adelaide-based company's first foray into the bottled desalinated water market. Set for release in the coming weeks, the company is working in close partnership with SA Water, utilising the Adelaide Desalination Plant at Lonsdale.

Double Murder in Pasadena (24/08/18)
Police were called to a home in Pasadina this morning when neighbours noticed blood stains on a window and no response from the residence. Upon arrival Police found the scene of a double homicide, that is believed to be the work of the Surgeon Slasher. The two victims have been identified as Dr Jason Banks and Dr Samwell Jones, both working as mental health services. The SAPOL Major Crimes task force responsible for the surgeon slasher investigation has released a statement. Superintendent Rhiannon Jacobs said "While we believe this to be a Surgeon slasher case, we can not rule out the possibility that it could be a copy cat, it is not the usual MO for the slasher or one of them could not have been the intended target, while we wait for forensic evidence we will be going around the community asking for any witnesses". This makes 13 People that are believed to be killed by the slasher, 20 for those that believe that the massacre at Glenside was the slashers doing.

Gruesome Gawler Murders (23/08/18)
The dumping site for a number of bodies was located in ironically named "Dead Man's Pass Reserve" just 5 minutes south-east of the main street in Gawler this afternoon. It is believed that up to 8 bodies in various states of decay might be included in the dumping site. It has not been determined how long the bodies have been there, but police are urging caution to Gawler residents. The location was uncovered by a group of local children who were playing in the area when a riverbank collapsed, disturbing the site.

Mutations found in Animals, Scientists Baffled (22/08/18)
Scientists are Baffled by the findings of many Mutated Kangaroo and Wallaby's out by the small mining town of Roxby Downs. Both marsupial beings have been found with odd mutation growths and extra limbs especially in their young. When asked to comment on possible causes to this we were given a couple of responses. "It could be the increased amount of pollution and storms caused by the Renewable industry" as well as "With continued in-breeding it is to be expected that these animals will evolve though not how we'd like, just look at Tasmania" no further comments were given.

Korean Gangs incite violence in Port Adelaide (20/08/18)
Violence between the Korean Gang Cobra Vipers and the Port Adelaide Gang Demon Monkeys has come to an all time high as a shootout occurred in the late hours of Sunday evening at the Port Canal Mall. Police suspect that the shootout begun at a Drug deal gone wrong and with the two gangs fighting over territory civilians are urged to stay indoors and avoid going out at night.

Suicide Victim found on Oakbank Golfcourse (19/08/18)
30-year-old Patrick McDonnell was found dead in the early hours of the morning at Oakbank Golfcourse, One of the local patrons a Darcey Jones stated she found the Body hanging from a tree as she attempted to find where he ball had gone. Patrick was a Personal Trainer though his place of employment state they haven't seen him since February this year. The Body was found hanging from a Tree branch by a strong leather belt. Police state the Body was in such a decomposed state that it is likely he had passed away months prior to being found, and they are unsure why the body wasn't found sooner.

Double Library Murder in Quiet Township of Gawler (18/08/18)
A shocking discovery was made this morning when Evanston Gardens resident and Gawler Library staff member Philip Munroe came in to open up the library this morning. The bodies of two library patrons were found partially hidden in the aisles at the back of the building. Police are refusing to comment on the nature of the deaths, only to say that it was under 'suspicious circumstances'. Any persons with further information are urged to contact crimestoppers on <X number>.

Northern Suburbs Pub Burnt Down Overnight (16/08/18)
In a tragic set of news for Northern Suburbs residents, the popular Old Spot Hotel went up in flames last night, with fire-crews and inspection teams confirming that the damage was well beyond repair. The blaze is believed to have been caused by a combination of poor maintenance procedures, insufficient cleaning practices and sadly, human negligence.

Fortunately, the fire was able to be controlled and put out before it spread to the nearby Carisbrooke Reserve.

Minor Earthquake Detected off Coast of South Australia (12/8/18)
Though residents of Adelaide wouldn't have felt anything onshore, a small tremor was detected by seismic sensors just off the coastline at midnight last night. Aside from the cooincidental timing,this event would usually have gone by without note due to .

Hantavirus pulmonary syndrome Outbreak (10/8/18)
SA Health have released a statement this morning about a new disease that is affecting residents of Adelaide. Throughout the last few days people have been reporting to their GP's and to the emergency department with what they believed to be Pneumonia, however after various testing it was found that these patients had a strain of Hantavirus that has resulted in Hantavirus pulmonary syndrome. This is a disease that has not been present in Australia before thanks to our geographical location and stringent customs regulations. this disease is a particularly fatal disease with about 1/3 people (38%) dying from it. much like Listeriosis, Hantavirus pulmonary syndrome is spread by rodents, however this disease is transmitted via airborne transmission when the urine, droppings and nesting areas of rodents are stirred up, which results in tiny droplets of the virus becoming airborne and infecting humans. Doctors are urging the public to follow safe food handling procedures and get your home and restaurants checked for rodent infestations.

Another Doctor killed, believed to be the work of the surgeon slasher (24/07/18)
SAPOL were alerted to the death of Dr Samuel Adams early this morning, as residents noticed a strange smell coming from the house. Police investigating the scene noted the similarities in this scene when compared to the others and have estimated that he had been killed on Friday. The task force assigned to the investigation have stated that they believe they are closing in on the killer a statement from this morning said "we have an idea of who the killer may be affiliated with and are currently pursuing those leads, this however has been delayed by the copycat of Patrica Door which took away significant time and resources away from the actual killer, but rest assured that we are doing everything that we can to ensure that we catch the killer or anyone that tries to copy the slasher".

Kangaroo Island Mayor and South Australian Government green-light proposal for 14km bridge from mainland (24/07/2018)
A bold plan to build a multi-million-dollar bridge to Kangaroo Island from the mainland of South Australia has been greenlit by the island's Mayor, who described the proposal as an "exciting new venture that's sure to bring a positive boom to the local tourism industry".

South Australian Minister for Tourism Mr Bob Davies said that by considering the proposal, the State Government would be "opening up" the island to a boost in tourism.

"What this bridge would do would make Kangaroo Island Australia's number one tourist destination. What this does is just opens up a whole new world of opportunities for South Australia and the island."

The bridge would have a length of about 14 kilometres and would be built across Backstairs Passage, with an estimated cost of $4.5bn. Once construction is complete, the bridge would be one of the longest overwater vehicle bridges in Australia.

The first stage of construction is expected to take place in October later this year.


Record Numbers at Adelaide's Anime and Videogame Convention (23/07/2018)
Organisers of Adelaide's Annual AVCon event have reported record numbers of attendees this year, as crowds of colourful costumed individuals flocked to the Convention Centre this past weekend.

Sheryl Starz from Adelaide's 104.2FM station was on the scene, stating that "With the weather finally clearing up, people are going back outside and enjoying themselves in any way they can! The variety of costumes and the imagination of everyone is really amazing, especially with all the hard work some people put into their outfits."

Number of Listeriosis Cases declining (18/07/18)
efforts to manage the lesteriosis out break that had been plaguing the Adelaide CBD have seemingly worked as the number of cases has radically declined over the past couple of weeks. SA Health have released a statement saying "We believe that due to the health campaign more people went to their GP and received care earlier than they would have otherwise, this has managed to prevent a number of deaths related to the disease from occurring. While we are still collecting data and looking for the source of the outbreak we can only hope that people keep monitoring their health and visiting their GP if they notice any possible symptoms, early detection is the best way to combat the disease". Investigations are still ongoing as to the source of the outbreak but sources state that they believe all the attention this received possibly caused restaurants to review safe food handling practises and perform them to the best of their ability.

Severe Weather finally clears (16/07/2018)
With relieved expressions, scientists from the Bureau of Meteorology have announced that the storm front responsible for battering Adelaide with harsh winds and torrential over the past few months has finally dissipated. The City of Adelaide received it's first clear blue sky this morning as commuters were on their way to work.

"Now that the worst is over, we can finally begin cleaning up, rebuilding and repairing the damage that the storms caused. It won't be easy, but as long as everyone can chip in and help out, I think we'll be alright." said MFS Volunteer Andrew Daley, who had recently completed his four hundredth hour of volunteer work.

It's estimated that the Adelaide metropolitan region received a record-setting amount of rainfall over the 60 day storm period, with exact amounts yet to be calculated.

GP Murderer Arrested (13/07/2018)
In a shocking twist in the murder case of Dr Ravi Sherman, the culprit responsible has been revealed to be none other than self-proclaimed Anti-Vax Queen Patricia Door, who Police allege turned herself in and confessed to the murder earlier this morning after matching DNA evidence had been recovered from the scene of the crime, as well as some of Ms Door's possessions.

The backlash was immediate, with multiple supporters of Patricia lining up outside the Adelaide Police Station with picket signs demanding her release, citing that she "was obviously framed".

Ms Door is expected to face a lifelong sentence in prison for the murder of Dr Sherman late last month.


CCTV Rollout Continues (10/07/2018)
In response to the recent terror scare and growing paranoia, the State Government and Adelaide City Council have announced plans for a joint intiative for an expansion of the CCTV network. The proposed plan would see the main areas of Gawler and Seaford covered by these cameras in an attempt to help reduce the crime rate and take pressure off of the already understaffed police presence in those areas.

The CCTV initiative has enjoyed resounding success since it's conception, with the areas of Elizabeth and Noarlunga having already experienced an immediate decrease in the rate of violent crimes since their networks were installed earlier this year. It's understood that public opinion is in favour of this move, with many citing the extra security measures as giving them the peace of mind they need to continue on with their day.

Construction work will begin from next week and will be conducted all throughout the July-September period, with high-traffic areas being prioritised first.

Doomsday Cult Preaches: End Times are Upon Us (07/07/2018)
This year's winter has been the wettest on record for South Australia, with weather warnings being issued for fifty consecutive days. Scientists from the Bureau of Meteorology are baffled at the results and have no conclusive reasoning behind the freak weather pattern and can only hope that the conditions let up soon before the River Torrens overflows.

While most residents attribute the harsh conditions to global cooling and an increase in dependence on wind energy, some more conservative members of the public are comparing the weather to the Biblical forty days and forty nights of intense downpour referenced in the Book of Genesis and have claimed that: "it's a sure-fire sign that the time of Judgement will soon come".

Weird, Wacky and Wonderful Wednesdays with Sheryl Starz (04/07/2018) [Radio]
Hey Adelaide! Hope you're keeping warm and dry! We're starting off the month with a bang and bringing you the weirdest in tales. This weekend is the start of the school holidays, and parents everywhere are already letting out a sigh of relief at not having to worry about entertaining their kids. Exams are over, final marks are coming in after the break. A real relaxing time right?

Well, what if I told you there's someone who's already been on break for the past week? 16-year-old Ben of Golden Grove's been glued to his computer monitor for the entire time! His parents say he hasn't even left the room to go to the bathroom and orders food online! Some say that he's just the latest in a growing number of kids becoming addicted to video games. Instead of going outside and learning proper social skills, they live indoors and leech off their parents.

Another Doctor Murdered (29/06/2018)
Adelaide Metro Staff were horrified at their discovery early this morning when Doctor Ravi Sherman was found Slaughtered in the underground pass at Croydon Railway Station. Police say the means of his death co-inside with deep slashes all over his body and one fatal slash to the victim's throat, He was a General Practitioner whose Surgery would often go to Schools and Nursing homes to administer Vaccines to those who needed them.
SAPOL is Urging anyone with information on the Surgeon Slasher to come forward so that these murders can be put to a stop before they become in-discriminatory.


Adelaide Polls (22/06/2018)
7 news has done a poll of civilians in the CBD to see what they feel with the coming terrorist attacks of late.
20% said they are indifferent
30% said they are angry
50% said they felt anxious about losing a loved one
We will be conducting this poll again in the coming months

Weird, Wacky and Wonderful Wednesdays with Sheryl Starz (20/06/2018) [Radio]
Welcome back, listeners! Sheryl Starz here with this week's edition of Weird, Wacky and Wonderful Wednesdays! Today we've got a real funky one for you all. Now, with all this awful weather around you wouldn't think people would still be going to the beach. Well, you'd be wrong! Spotted down at Maslin's beach just yesterday night were a bunch of nudists! Can you believe it? You'd think they'd freeze their privates off!

Mass Murder in Campbelltown believed to be the work of the Surgeon Slasher (15/6/2018)
Earlier this morning Police were alerted to a murder scene in Campbeltown. SAPOL has released a statement earlier this afternoon. “we were alerted to the scene by local residents, upon arrival police officers entered the scene and discovered the bodies of 3 adults and 4 children believed to be the Williams family. Officers noted that there was a message left on scene that read “If you try to leave the city, everyone you love will die with you while you watch, this is your only warning””.

Local detective, Rhiannon Jacobs, who is heading up the task force assigned to capture the Surgeon Slasher has also released a statement. “Previously we have only seen a single victim in their murders, now however this is a change in the previously established MO (Method of Operating), we believe that the Slasher has become bolder and more confident in their crimes. Based on the scene that we encountered this morning we know that they have set victims, and this does not appear to be random attacks, they know that their potential victims know who they are and are attempting to leave the city. We are urging anyone that believes that they are or could be in danger from this murderer to contact police, so we can catch this person”

Insider information suggests that the main victim in this attack was Doctor Andrew Williams, and it is believed that he was made to watch his family being killed. We can only hope that SAPOL can find this killer before their next attack.

Listeriosis Outbreak worsens (14/06/2018)
Upon the revelation that there is an outbreak of Listeriosis, Doctors have been overwhelmed with the number of cases in the last month. A statement from SA Health has said that there have been over 150 cases in the last month with 36% of those people dying from the disease, currently there has been no sign of the disease slowing down and are urging people to follow safe food handling procedures and to ensure the quality of food. An investigation has been launched in the CBD to try to locate the cause of the outbreak.

Severe weather continues (13/06/2018)
For the last month Adelaide has been ravaged by a severe storm front that has caused no end in damage to the city. Due to heavy rains and severe winds, heavy flooding is expected over the next few weeks as the storm shows no sign of relenting from it’s current course. There is flood warnings for the Black hill, Morialta, Horsnell gully, Mt Lofty and surrounding areas, with residents are being warned to prepare or potentially leave the area, SES and the local fire service are helping with current efforts to protect people’s homes and families.

Weird, Wacky and Wonderful Wednesdays with Sheryl Starz (13/06/2018) [Radio]
Hi Adelaideans! Sheryl Starz here from SA's hottest station 104.2FM bringing you an all-new exclusive segment for your Wednesdays! Woop woop!

Now as we all know, Adelaide's no stranger to weird cases, strange happenings and really wacky stuff. So what better kind of evening entertainment then to talk about it on air!

This week we're coming to you with the story of Patty Green! Now, Patty's a kind old lady, she's got the grandkids, loving family, all that. Except there's one thing that's really weird. She collects old TVs! Crazy, right? Her husband Robert says she started the trend in the early 70s and has been doing it since then! Apparently, she's got so many that the attic and garage are full of them. Crazy right?

I'll now be opening up the phone lines for callers, and at the end of each month, you'll get to vote on that month's craaazzyyyy story. The winner will receive a $500 cash prize each month up until December where we'll be bringing in the New Year with a bang and a $5000 bonanza!

This has been Sheryl Starz, from Adelaide's best radio station 104.2FM.

Doctor Matthew Jiao found dead in Hilton Hotel room (05/06/2018)
Hotel staff at the Hilton Hotel had a daunting experience this morning as a routine room clean turned into the room clean of nightmares. When the room attendant entered he was met with the horrific scene that he called a scene right out of a horror movie.

Preliminary investigation shows that Doctor Jiao was prepared for some sort of incident to happen as he had emptied his bank accounts, secured flights out of the country to Argentina and had already flown his family out late last week. Police also seized a semi auto assult rifle and 250 rounds for the weapon along with 2 side arms, both with suppressors. Forensic evidence suggests that both weapons were fired at the scene yet no fired bullets were found at the scene. SAPOL said earlier in a statement that Major crimes is putting together a Task Force to catch what they are calling The Surgeon Slasher.


Investigators: Faulty gas heaters to blame for InterContinental explosion (30/05/2018)
EVIDENCE retrieved from the scene of the blast has led investigators to determine that Saturday's disastrous explosion was caused by a gas leak from a faulty supply of propane-powered gas heaters that were not installed correctly nor up to current safety regulations.

Although the manufacturer has not yet been named, speculation is pointed towards the Chinese or Korean manufacturing industry. The reputation of the prestigious and world-renowned 'InterContinental' chain of 5-star hotels has so far been flawless, but there's no denying that this tragic incident will be a stain on their records for many decades to come.

A free counselling service for family members and loved ones of the deceased is being offered by the hotel chain with a memorial in the works for the near future.

An internet website has also been set up with a list of names and photographs of the deceased and is available at RememberingTheLost.info

((OOC: Email the DST if your character would be interested.))

BREAKING NEWS: Explosion at InterContinental Hotel Adelaide: 19 dead, 67 injured. (26/05/2018)
DEBRIS rained from the sky as an explosion ripped through the roof and top two floors of the InterContinental Adelaide just moments ago.

Shortly after the explosion, and despite heavy rainfall, a firestorm erupted and gutted the multimillion-dollar penthouse suites and rooftop areas. Experts are pointing to a napalm-type incendiary device as the likely cause.

Officers from SAPOL have blocked off the entirety of North Terrace as the MFS, CFS and search and rescue teams attempt to look for any survivors.

109 show Cancelled (22/05/2018)
For the first time since the club's opening club 109's hot hit show Enchantress has been cancelled. All patrons who had reserved seatings are fuming as those reservations don't come cheap. "How could she do this" one patron said, "we pay good money to see her shows and she just up and cancels it like that. That witch wouldn't even have a show without people like me" Enchantress refused to comment on why her show was cancelled.

Severe Weather Continues (22/05/18)
As if the events of the past weekend weren't enough, the harsh weather conditions affecting the Adelaide Inner Metropolitan region are continuing. Local MFS crews have begun distributing sandbags and providing aid to the many affected businesses and residences. Adelaide residents are urged to stock up on emergency supplies such as bottled water, tinned food, blankets, flashlights and batteries in the event of continued rain, harsh conditions and blackouts.

With any luck, we'll be back to clear skies by the end of the week.

Listeriosis Outbreak in CBD (20/05/18)
SA Health are reporting that a higher than average number of people are reporting to emergency rooms with the illness known as Listeriosis. Currently it has affected 15 people this month all living in proximity to the CBD, there are more diagnoses expected. Listeriosis is a rare illness that is caused by eating contaminated food, although the illness is rare it has a high death rate. Listeriosis can take between 3 to 70 days to present and can cause septicaemia (blood poisoning) and meningitis (inflammation of the brain). Listeriosis is mainly spread through nature being carried by wild and domesticated animals. Health professionals are asking anyone with symptoms such as fever, muscle aches, nausea and diarrhoea to go to their doctor and get checked.

BREAKING NEWS: Multiple bomb threats reported, STAR group and Bomb Squad deployed to several locations. City on lockdown. (20/05/18)
IN what is now reported to be South Australia's largest domestic terrorism scare since 2005, The Queen Elizabeth Hospital, Hope Valley Reservoir, University of Adelaide Waite Campus, Royalty Theatre and even much beloved Arnott's Biscuits were all targeted by an unknown organisation late last night. Key eyewitnesses and staff from the QEH report a large group of unknown individuals forcing their way into the hospital, attacking staff members and running amock through the building. When police arrived on the scene, they found five hostages restrained in the basement of the building and strapped with explosive devices. Hostages were also found at the four other locations, as well as numerous other explosive devices that were all disarmed on scene.

Fifty hostages were rescued in total. Amazingly, no casualties were reported and no injuries beyond minor cuts, bruises and concussions were suffered. Investigations into the suspected culprits are ongoing and police are looking for any information at all anyone might have.

2018 is shaping up to be the biggest wake-up call for SAPOL in recent history. Will they be up to the challenge?

Storm Front Incoming (16/05/18)
Adelaide residents are warned by the bureau of meteorology that the next few weeks could pose a flooding risk as a higher than average rainfall is expected, a storm front is expected to fall on South Australia on Friday morning, resulting in heavy rainfall, thunder, lightning and strong winds. Residents are warned to be prepared for possible blackouts as the wind and rain may cause power lines to fall or be taken down with trees.


Demonic cult debunked! Victorian teenagers to blame for shocking incident at Southend. (08/05/2018)
NEW information has come to light regarding the disturbing situation that occurred in Southend last month. Key eyewitness testimony has revealed to South Australian Police that the culprits were none other than a group of disturbed teenagers from across the border. Residents of the town are relieved that the incident wasn’t related to demonic creatures, but instead edgy teenagers looking to indulge in twisted and shocking behaviour. Investigations into the identity of the culprits are ongoing.

BREAKING NEWS: STAR officers involved in massive raid on Whyalla based biker gang: Vanguards MC. (06/05/2018)
IT was a scene out of an action movie. Officers in full body armor carrying assault weapons and riot shields, police dogs and even a tactical response vehicle were deployed late this afternoon in the otherwise uninteresting regional town of Whyalla. They quickly mobilized and converged on two different locations, performing breach and clear tactics and rushing in with guns drawn.

A brief firefight ensued as officers battled with several members of the Vanguards MC at what is now believed to have been their regional headquarters. Nine members were killed by police with five others taken into custody. A number of motorcycles, weapons and cash exceeding $25000 were seized from the scene. Police later seized a large cache of homemade weapons, improvised firebombs, 9.5kg of methamphetamines, twenty kilograms of marijuana and cash totalling half a million dollars from the other address – believed to be a backup safe house/stash location for the gang.

Rural police were seen celebrating and even cheering on the STAR officers as they returned with the captured members in custody. The captured gang members are facing steep punishments and almost certainly a lifetime in prison.

It’s believed that between three to five remaining members are still at large in the area, with the gang’s leader, known as ‘Hawk’ still evading police custody.

Detective Jack Mitchell of SAPOL’s Major Crimes Unit was on the scene to give us this exclusive report. “Yeah, we’re all just really happy that we’ve finally gotten these *bleep*ing bastards. There’s been a lot of hard work put into this case and for a while there we were grasping at straws. We made some major breakthroughs recently and I’m real happy to be here seeing these *bleeps* pay for what they did.”

Murder at Holden Hill (05/05/2018) (TW: Gore, Mutilation)
Late last night Police were called to a local residence where Dr. Arnold Smitherson was found dead by his wife upon returning home. Mrs. Smitherson discovered her husband in his favourite chair disemboweled, further mutilated, blinded and gagged when she returned home from a conference in Melbourne. Dr. Smitherson was a world-renowned psychiatrist, researcher, and advocate for the disabled, he would take cases where others believed that there was no positive outcome. SAPOL are currently investigating the scene, currently, they have no suspects that we are aware of.

Bodies found at Norton Summit (05/05/2018)
in what has been a long missing persons case, how now turned into a murder investigation. 5 this evening 5 bodies were discovered around Norton Summit by a few hikers, reports suggest that the hikers found the bodies in a horrific state and were unable to handle the smell. Preliminary investigations say that they have been there for 3-4 weeks. a gofundme has been set up to help the families pay for funeral costs, if you are willing you can donate here <www.notareallink.com>

Fast food not worth the bargain? (24/04/2018)
Several fast food companies along Adelaide's Hindley Street are under scrutiny after reports of mice and rats being seen in increased numbers along the popular nightlife strip. Health officials were unavailable to comment at this time, though patrons have reported the horrifying sight of rats running out through kitchen doors and scurrying across empty tables to steal leftover food.

Fur Seal Massacre on State's Coast (23/04/2018)
The bodies of almost a dozen fur seals were found washed up on the southern end of Hallet Cove Beach by resident Hattie Smith while out walking her dog in the early hours of this morning. Cause of death is currently unknown and under investigation by the RSPCA and AMWRRO. Anyone with information is asked to contact AMWRRO on xxxx-xxxx.


BREAKING NEWS: One dead, three injured in bikie ambush targeting SAPOL (22/04/2018)
IN WHAT police are describing as an act of revenge for the successful arrest of six members of the Vanguards MC earlier this month, a drive-by shooting at the Whyalla Police Station has left one officer dead and three others in critical condition. Police alledge that around 11am this morning, several masked gang members converged on the station and fired around fifty rounds into the building through the front entrance and side windows before speeding off. Local police were taken by complete surprise and were not able to pursue the offenders before they escaped.

Officers from SAPOL's Major Crimes Unit were dispatched to the scene and are currently investigating. Any witnesses to this event have been urged to come forth.

Local Dr murdered in own home (16/04/2018)
Local psychiatric doctor, Richard Smith was found dead in the early hours of the morning by his daughter. Police were called to the scene at 6:55am this morning as his daughter and wife returned home from a short trip to the airport. Police investigating the scene have stated that the scene was gruesome and looked like Dr Smith had been tortured in the short period in which his family had left the house. Dr Smiths son will be flying back from his UK trip in preparation for the funeral. Police are asking for an assistance from the community to help locate any witnesses or possible suspects around Katoomba Road, Beaumont.

Drug-fueled Demon Cult terrorises Country Town (15/04/2018)
RESIDENTS of the sleepy town of Southend woke up to a disturbing sight this morning as they discovered wide-spread carnage and vandalism throughout the town. Several car windows had been smashed with what appeared to be the remains of a kangaroo, residences were vandalised with human faeces and what's most disturbing... what appeared to be some kind of demonic ritual circle made out of council wheelie bins. If that wasn't enough, much of the town's feline population looked to be torn apart by some kind of wild animal, with claw marks and scratches being found on the windows of many homes. Residents are baffled at the display and concerned for their safety, with one older resident suffering a heart-attack and needing to be rushed to hospital after discovering the remains of her beloved pet.

Local police were unavailable for comment.

Family Fun Day at Mitcham Cinemas (14/04/2018)
IT'S been three months since the fire that tore through the Mitcham cinema complex. Through community support, generous donations and sheer hard work, the complex has gone through an extensive renewal and a complete revival. In celebration of this, the cinema is hosting a Family Fun Day on the 28th of April. There'll be free face-painting, bouncy castles, colouring activities, and of course, a gold coin donation sausage sizzle, so come on down. Bring the wife, bring the kids and have a great day out at Mitcham Cinemas.

Firearms, drugs seized and six arrested in Whyalla anti-gang raids (13/04/2018)
THE Vanguards outlaw motorcycle gang has been the target of SAPOL's latest anti-gang initiative, which saw the arrest of six gang members early this morning. Acting under the cover of darkness, a joint-task force raided several residences in Whyalla that had been linked to gang-related activity, catching those inside by complete surprise. It’s alleged detectives seized about 7.4kg of methylamphetamine, five illegally-obtained firearms and more than $6,000 in cash across the two Whyalla properties.

Detective Sergeant Rhiannon Jacobs from SAPOL's Major Crimes Unit was on the scene this afternoon to give us the following statement:

"The combined effort of officers not only from our metropolitan branch but from our rural branches as well, was what gave us this win today. This isn't just a win for SAPOL, it's also a win for the local communities here that have been terrorised by these criminals for the past few months. Rest assured that we will not stop until the so-called Vanguards are where they belong - behind bars."

Critics were quick to point out that not all of the Vanguards outlaw motorcycle gang had been caught, with around fifteen members still believed to be at large.


Massacre and kidnap at Glenside (05/04/2018)
Further Police investigations have revealed that the massacre that occurred at Glenside hospital also coincided with the kidnap of one of the patients that was receiving treatment at the time. Young Belladonna Agnes was found to be the victim of the kidnapping. Police are concerned for her safety. attached below is a photo of a young girl no older than 17, long brown hair, green eyes, Caucasian and slim build.

Hoon drivers to blame for traffic chaos (04/04/2018)
Residents of the Charles Sturt area are once again fuming as hoon drivers terrorise the roads and cause havoc with late night traffic. Six unidentified individuals driving modified vehicles were involved in a 'street race' from Port Road onto West Lakes Blvd, Military Road and later circling back around through Trimmer Parade. Amateur video footage has surfaced online showing the drivers speeding through red lights, driving on the wrong side of the road and weaving through late night commuters on their way home.

SA Police are asking for anyone who has any information on these hoon drivers to come forward so that "these idiots can be taken off our roads".

Missing People on North Terrace. (30/03/2018)
Recently there have been a few people that have gone missing north of the CBD. Reports state that visitors to the Intercontinental Hotel and the casino on North Terrace have been going missing, reports state that as of yesterday the 3rd person has gone missing over the last month. Police are currently asking any witnesses to come forward with information and if anyone has seen anything suspicious to please call crime stoppers. (Attached are 3 Photo’s of the missing people, 2 males, 1 female)

Ancient Coins Gone Astray (23/03/2018)
In the early hours of yesterday morning, coins from the Museum of Adelaide were Stolen by a Masked Criminal. Museum Staff were baffled when checking the security footage to find a lithe, small woman dressed in an all black makeshift Catwoman costume breaking through their security and stealing many of the coins from the Museums Collection. Several of the stolen coins originated from the Shipwreck Maria, known well for the Cannibal Attack of Natives along the Coorong in 1840. Astonishingly, the Police were nowhere to be seen even well after the Alarm had gone off. The Museum of Adelaide is offering its own Reward for the return of the Coins and hopes that the Adelaide Citizens will do a better job than the cities own Men in Blue.

Massacre at Glenside (23/03/2018) (TW: Gore, Mutilation)
Late last night police were called to Glenside Hospital where they were met with the horrific scene of 5 doctors and 2 nurses who were massacred in the late hours. Residents two blocks over said they heard the screaming for 5 minutes. Police are calling for any witnesses to come forth that may have seen any suspicious people leaving that area at around 11:40 pm last night. Police are currently waiting on autopsy results to determine what caused the deaths, but insider sources say that it looked as if these people were torn apart - with the most disturbing thing being that of those that were killed the males genitals were all mutilated; current evidence appears to be that it was done while the victims were still alive. Members of the community are once again disappointed with the response of police personnel, as they took 15 minutes to arrive on the scene. More to come tonight at 6.


City Council Cameras bust Car Thieves (21/03/2018)
IN WHAT can only be called a victory for the Adelaide City Council's CCTV initiative, a gang of would-be car thieves were busted earlier this morning as they attempted to break into Adelaide's BMW dealership under the cover of darkness. Although the on-site security was disabled by the thieves, they failed to account for the newly-installed security cameras nearby. The four individuals were caught mid-theft by metropolitan police and are now facing criminal charges.

Motorcycle Gang causes chaos on the Eyre Peninsula (15/03/2018)
WITNESSES from Whyalla have reported escalating violence as members of the Vanguards MC target local communities with displays of violence. The Motorcycle gang entered the area in late January during Australia Day celebrations and are known for their prominent racist views and support of a 'White Australia'. Despite efforts of local police, members of the outlaw motorcycle gang have escaped arrest and are currently wanted by authorities.

Our inside sources speculate that a much larger police operation might be in the works... but who can really tell? Is SAPOL up to the task? We'll find out in the coming weeks.

Bonsai Rave (13/03/2018)
A small flower shop in the city has got Customers raving over their new range of unique Bonsai trees, People have been lining up for hours from King William Street to way down Waymouth in order to buy one and the shop seems to be in no small supply. These small trees even come in versions you wouldn't normally see like tiny Gumtrees and Tiny Willows and all of them grow small berries that you can even eat. The Bonsai craze seems to be hitting mostly the younger Generation. The Shop called Smell the Roses began selling these plants mid last month but it didn't really take off until Beefood gave the small tiny trees a 5-star rating. If you wish to get your hands on one of these plants you might want to be quick.

Adelaide Anti-Vaccination Awareness Day (13/03/2018)
STICKING true to her word, self-proclaimed Anti-Vax Queen Patricia Door held an Anti-Vaccination Awareness Day at her private daycare centre in the city's eastern suburbs today. Attendance was lower than expected, however, Patricia claims that there was a decent turnout of Mums, Dads and other parents-to-be, who are now "informed of the dangers of Vaccines".


Sheepy Shenanigans (02/03/2018)
Portrush Road was sent into chaos in the early hours of this morning when a road transport vehicle carrying a flock of sheep was held up and the sheep were released to cause mayhem through the morning traffic. Witness reports claim that two unknown individuals ran out into traffic, causing the vehicle to pull to a halt, following which one of the men contained the driver while the second released the sheep.

Hilltop Hoons (27/02/2018)
South Australian Police are advising motorists to be cautious when driving through the Adelaide Hills this weekend as illegal street racers once again take to the hills and outer suburbs ahead of this year's Adelaide 500. Concerned residents have reported multiple instances of high-speed drag races and dangerous 'drifting' events taking place on the winding roads. Witnesses to this illegal activity are urged to contact Crimestoppers.

Young Girl Missing (24/02/2018)
Britney Williams, a 14-year-old daughter of Johnathan and Samantha Williams has been missing since the 17th of February in what appear to be suspicious circumstances. Britney was last seen at 7 pm on the 17th of February at Magic Mountain with a group of her friends; they say that she stepped out for a walk and didn't want anyone to come with her. outside other witnesses report seeing her with another young girl walking along the Glenelg beach front, Britney's friends say that they had no idea who or why she would be with another girl. police have found that the person that Britney was with is a reported missing person Blake Morrisey, a resident of Tanunda, who has been missing since the January 2nd. Parents and the police are asking for further witnesses to come forth to help with the investigation.

Adelaide Anti-Vaccination Awareness Day (19/02/2018)
Self-proclaimed Anti-Vax Queen Patricia Door is at it once again. Although she came under fire early last year for her controversial Vaccine-Free Daycare centre, the mother of three hasn't given up. Citing an increase in vaccine-related cases of autism, ADHD, depression as an "unrefutable need" for an official day to promote awareness of the problems that vaccinations cause. The Adelaide Anti-Vaccination Awareness Day is set to be held on the 13th of March at her day-care centre in Burnside.

Unsurprisingly, representatives from the Royal Adelaide Hospital have urged parents to boycott the event, calling it "Dangerous and the ravings of an uneducated fear-monger".

Valentines Chocolate Bonanza (13/02/2018)
Chocolate sales for this Valentine's day have hit an all-time high rivalling Last Easter as many stores find themselves without stock before the day of Love. Melba's Chocolate Factory going so far as to have sold not only all their heart-shaped stock but their regular stock too. Business owners are quite pleased with the profits made being much higher than anticipated and hope this sort of shopping boom continues well into the year. Workers at Melba's are showing their proud ways by even staying back well into the night to replenish the now depleted chocolate stock, the sweet taste of success.


Volunteers assist joint MFS/CFS operation at Athelstone (9/02/2018)
It looked like a scene out of a disaster movie as a joint MFS and CFS team battled a blaze at the Blackhill Conservation Park early this morning. Large plumes of smoke could be seen coming from the direction of the Conservation Park at around 2 pm yesterday. MFS crews and volunteers mobilised quickly in an effort to contain the blaze but faced an uphill battle right from the start. Units from the CFS arrived on scene about an hour later and waterbomber aircraft were soon in the sky. The blaze was eventually put out just after midnight.

The investigation into the cause of the fire is on-going.

Animal Activists blamed for Abattoir break-in (04/02/2018)
SA Police are investigating local animal rights activists after a break-in at the Murray Bridge Meatworks occurred at around 1 am this morning.

Security footage shows a group of three unidentified individuals (believed to be two males and one female) forcing their way into the factory and committing various acts of sabotage, property destruction and vandalism. The suspects later went on to illegally remove a large number of livestock from the premises, allowing them to run wild and cause considerable chaos to road users as well as thousands of dollars of damage to nearby properties.

Although the overall damage to the Meatworks was deemed 'insignificant', the clean up is expected to take several days.

Supolhumaxan el Supol Chunk? (02/02/2018)
Spocuraxatien dis lunnick wird axameck recaxar birm fubbs, spociaxar obbonds axaltichs pi censpilaxacupp zoelichs axas loconkrupp loroaxasow beetaxago blem Flisfaxano, QRD axappoaxals te sked pit vomfol eb zo pufric dolbelmick spondaxacuraxal boaxats eb chlockth en pit depuraxatow chlook.

Zo midoe (caxaptulow fupp sovolaxar enreekols pi raxatol lodichlifutow enrino) axappoaxals te sked up unidonkibiow vaxan ribtick pit skippick cenkaxainol um whis faxalo whaxacts, zon plecoodick te fonst-plopt dit skewick rittro te je obbelt. Dib zaxat waxasniz oneugh, zo vaxan raxatol keos en te, juto ritoli ox, toaxal whis waxaupp zleugh pit joighfeulick waxaloheuso waxarr fobelo popaxaltick zo scono.

Haxat pe ug zint? Supolhumaxan, el quich pit Supol Chunk?

Whaxavo yeep saxaupp din eep enrino derr.

Council set to Vote on Big Brother 2.0 (02/02/2018)
The Adelaide Council have convened once again to talk on the Bill presented forth to install more Security cameras throughout the Northern and Southern Regions of Adelaide. With drafting and second reading of the Bill being complete all that is left is for the Council to Vote on whether this bill will come to Pass in the coming fortnight, and when they choose whether your Privacy is going to be permanently invaded. Already the Arguments for comparing us to the small island our Monarch lives on known as England rather than the against that bring the truth to light. What does our government want with us if they can watch us at all times? Will you let your local councilman vote for this bill?
Sign our Petition at StoptheCameras.change.org

Biker Rallies in Whyalla (26/01/2018)
The South Australian Police force is urging motorists to be cautious when travelling through regional South Australia today as local motorcycle gangs conduct wide-scale demonstrations in the town and surrounding areas. Several hundred motorcycle gang members have converged along the main highway flying the flag of the Eureka Stockade, with multiple accounts of violence against minority groups already being reported in what appears to be a celebration of a Pro-White Australia Day.

Mint Eye launches with a bang (22/01/2018)
This morning marked the official launch of the hit energy drink in IGA Supermarkets, Foodland Supermarkets and other independent retailers. Several stores were reported to have sold out in less than an hour after opening their doors to excited shoppers. Not willing to disappoint the eager public, brothers Krystian and Matthew Młynarski appeared at Foodland Frewville to announce a brand new limited edition Mint flavour in a promotional glass bottle. With every purchase of a 4-pack of classic Mint Eye flavours, customers can redeem a special coupon for a free bottle of 'Atomint' (Atomic Mint). This promotion is only available until February 19th (or until stocks last), so get in quick!

Arson Blamed for Local High School Blaze (20/01/2018)
South Australian Police are investigating a suspected arson attack in Adelaide's western suburbs that has caused serious damage to a local school. Emergency services were able to successfully extinguish the blaze after being called to Woodville High School at around 2 am this morning, but not before it caused significant damage to a building. It's believed that the fire began in the foyer of the music building before spreading to several other rooms. Nearby residents were praised for their quick thinking and timely reporting of the blaze.

Police are appealing for any witnesses to come forward.

Cold case ended after many years (14/01/2018)
After Many years the Cold Case of the Rape and Murder of a young girl from over 20 years ago has since been finalised as the Man responsible has handed himself in presumably from the guilt he has held over all these years. This is yet another scenario where the Police of Adelaide have only been able to solve a case with outside help. The Police Commissioner has refused to give a statement.

Tuxedo in the Subway (11/01/2018)
The internet has been going wild over Tuxedo the cat, a Cat who waits for his owner every day at the Local Subway station in the Center of Victoria Square. Tuxedo is a 3-year-old British short hair who has taken to sitting on the Subway's podium that used to house a statue of James Hurtle Fisher until 1981 when it was knocked over by an intoxicated patron. Tuxedo will lay there soaking up the sun until the late hours of the night when his owner comes through to go home from work. Pictures of Tuxedo can be found on his Twitbook page linked below
twitbook.tuxedocatman.com

Fire devastates Southern Suburbs Cinema Complex (11/01/2018)
Patrons at a Mitcham cinema complex were evacuated late this evening by staff after a fire broke out in the complex. Crews from the South Australian Metropolitan Fire Service quickly arrived on site and managed to contain the blaze but not before several hundred thousand dollars of property was damaged. Faulty wiring in an air conditioner has been identified as the cause of the blaze and the popular cinema complex is expected to be closed for several months as extensive repairs and remodelling are conducted. 31 patrons were hospitalised and treated for smoke inhalation whilst 4 others were treated for minor burns.

Locally made energy drink predicted to dominate in 2018 (08/01/2018)
Although targeted by thieves early last month, local South Australian microbrewery Blue Phoenix Pty Ltd has announced a bold new plan for 2018. Citing the popularity of their flagship energy drink Mint Eye, Blue Phoenix co-founder Krystian Młynarski announced this morning that their next target for distribution would be the pubs, clubs and cafes of Adelaide.

"We're extremely proud of the reception we've received from the student population, in that this drink is like none other they've had before. I've had people come up to me on the street and thank me for giving them the boost they needed to get through their exams. It's awesome stuff and I couldn't be any more glad that in this day and age, a true-blue South Aussie business like ours can stand up to those global companies and show them that customers are proud of their local businesses and are willing to support them. The next step is to reach out to other local businesses and also get them onboard and working with us. I can tell you that we've got plans to expand later this year and we hope to be able to give back to the community by employing as many South Aussies as we can. We're committed to that goal." Competitors are sceptical of the decision, with many believing that the fad of Mint Eye will die down as operating costs and expenses rise.

Mint Eye is expected to launch in limited quantities at local IGA supermarkets and independent retailers from the 22nd of this month.

Total fire bans declared for SA as temperature soars (05/01/2018)
In preparation for this year's Summer heatwaves, the South Australian Metropolitan Fire Service and Country Fire Service have both declared that total fire bans will be put into place on any day that reaches 30 degrees Celsius or higher. It's hoped that these methods will be enough to prevent accidental blazes as some parts of South Australia expect to reach 40 degrees Celsius or higher this weekend. South Australian residents are urged to remember to put into place their Bushfire Survival plans and to be prepared in case of a fire.

Big Brother Adelaide <04/01/2018>
With the success of the CBD cameras, the Adelaide council members are currently in talks about expanding their camera project further around the city with rumours of pushing them as far as Elizabeth and Noarlunga. Some are concerned the cameras are a breach of privacy but for those of us who are sick of the crime rate in the city, it's a nice sense of security.

Metropolitan Fire Service and Country Fire Service on the lookout for volunteers (02/01/2018)
As South Australia enters the new year, local MFS and CFS crews are encouraging anyone who wishes to put themselves forward as volunteers to do so. CFS Chief Stephen Roberts had this to say:

"We all know that it gets hotter and hotter each year. I, my team here in Blackwood and our colleagues in the metropolitan areas wish for everyone to be able to enjoy summer without the fear of accidental blazes or bush fires destroying lives. To do that, we need people ready to get out there and help out when needed. We've had a lot of success in the past with hardworking men and women stepping up to the job and we hope that this year be no different."

Please contact your local MFS or CFS station for more information on becoming a volunteer this fire season.

2017 News

Hindmarsh business targeted in break-in (11/12/2017)
Local South Australian microbrewery Blue Phoenix Pty Ltd is the latest target in a spree of organised crime affecting Adelaide's Suburbs. The owners, twin brothers Matthew and Krystian Młynarski arrived this morning to find that their two-year-old business had been robbed over the weekend. Security camera footage shows several masked thieves utilising a hot-wired forklift to smash through a side entrance and into the on-site storage shed, where they stole several cases of the popular energy drink Mint Eye. After causing a considerable amount of damage the vandals fled on foot to a dark-coloured van parked nearby. Police have been unable to identify the perpetrators nor the license plate of the vehicle and are calling for any witnesses to the robbery to step forward.

Advent in the Town (01/12/2017)
Today the Gawler City Council has revealed a large University Advent art project in the Pioneer Park. Each day a new Christmas theme Statue is to be revealed the first one today is that of the Angel from the Biblical Story of Jesus. The statues were all made by different Students at the University of Adelaide the first being by a Christopher Rosewater who says he takes his artwork after the beauty of the world and says his Idol in the art world was the Renown South Australian artist Julian King and hopes to one day gain the same insight into his own mind and emotional State as the man. Stay Tuned for the remaining Statues to be revealed. Once Christmas is over they are all to be moved to the Adelaide State Art Gallery.



Mint Eye Breaks through testing as the Hype drink of the new year (15/11/2017)
In a Clever marketing scheme, Blue Phoenix has set up small kiosks featuring their new test energy Drink Mint Eye in front of all the Universities in Adelaide. Students have flocked to the stations to take their part, taking all the free samples they can and commenting on which flavours they find to be their favourite. So far Blue Phoenix isn't releasing much more information on their product but says Young Adults seem to have a taste for Berry and Tropical. We can't wait to see Mint Eye enter stores soon.



BREAKING NEWS: Ashbury Copycat? (20/10/2017)
Just days ahead of Saturday's remembrance service at Semaphore Beach, the unthinkable has happened. Three children from the well-known Elingston family have gone missing in what appears to be a copycat case of the Ashbury disappearances fifty years ago. Louise and Jacob Elingston had sent their three children Arthur (9), Samantha (10) and Chloe (8) to nearby Semaphore Beach for evening ice cream last night. They did not return home. Witnesses have reported seeing a 'handsome well-dressed young-looking' man with the children. A search party was conducted on the scene but was unable to locate the suspect. Police have urged anyone with any possible information to come forward and help identify this man. [Attached is an artist's impression of a young-looking man with light blue eyes, blonde hair and a short stubble.]

Ghost Ship - Deep Antarctic Explorer II (08/10/2017 - Local Messenger Papers or magazines about spooky things only)
A large turn out is expected at Adelaide coastal vantage points on the 19-21st. This magazine, and others have detailed photos from its last visit. Now identified as the Deep Antarctic Explorer II, a vessel that vanished a decade ago in the cold waters to the south, speculation is increasing about what is going on.

This Paper, The Conspiracy Fortnightly, is ready to sponsor a group of people ready to head to the ship and get some answers. (Attached are some high-quality photos of a ship on the dark waters of the gulf. It is covered in ice and, while the picture or at least ship are blurry the name can be read.)

Ashbury disappearances: 50th anniversary nears (07/10/2017)
THE 21st of October has traditionally been a sombre day of remembrance for Charles and Emily Ashbury.

Fifty years ago, their four children disappeared without a trace from popular Semaphore Beach without a trace. The whereabouts of Martha (9), Graham (7), Kenneth (10) and Nancy (6) were never determined, nor were any remains ever discovered. Ahead of the 50th Anniversary, the South Australian Police are putting out the call for any new leads or potential witnesses to come forth.

Police Commissioner Lindsay Davidson had this to say on the matter: "It's just really tragic, you know. Fifty years have past and these poor parents still have no information about what happened to their children. No parent would ever want this. We're asking for anyone with any possible information to come forth and contact us."

Although Charles and Emily split in 1982, neither of them have given up the search for their children. "We just want some closure. We know our children aren't coming home. Please, if anyone has any information, please please come forth."

Breakout locally-made energy drink to hit shelves soon (05/10/2017)
REPRESENTATIVES from local microbrewery Blue Phoenix Pty Ltd have announced a bold new plan to capture the attention and taste buds of South Australia's youth and student market. The month of November will mark a limited test launch of the microbrewery's new product. The exact specifics of the new product (known as Mint Eye) have been kept tight-lipped ahead of the launch, with competitors watching carefully. Representatives from Blue Phoenix have claimed that the caffeine-laden drink will be particularly beneficial for students taking their end of year exams.

Adelaide Gardening and Outdoor Living Expo in full bloom (02/10/2017)
HELLO, Spring! The annual Adelaide Gardening and Outdoor Living Expo will be going ahead this year on the 28th and 29th of October. Held at the Adelaide Showground, the weekend long event promises an exciting display of seasonal flowers, gardening advice from local experts, wine tasting and landscaping design advice. It doesn't matter if you're young, old, a budding gardener or an experienced green thumb, there's something here for everyone!


Fatal Car Crash Anzac Highway, P Plater laws not strict enough? (02/09/2017)
A Ford Mustang has met a gruesome end on the Anzac Highway late yesterday evening as it slid off the wet roads and into a Stobie pole killing all the passengers inside. Michael Anderson the P Plater Driving, Carolin Stryder and Phineas McGregor were the unlucky three to have been driving in these conditions, as. Police say this is the third P Plater fatality in such a short time from the same model of car. They are urging all who are Driving a Ford Mustang from the years 1980-1989 to have their breaks and steering alignment checked to see if there are any faults. Police are also Urging P Platers to think before getting out on the roads and wonder if the Laws in place are strict enough to keep our young drivers safe. (Image included is of this car wrecked into the wall = http://wiki.beyondthesunset.org.au/images/e/e0/Carinthenews1980.jpg)

Bakehouse Theater Sellout (27/8/2017)
Local Psychic and illusionist Johnny Whisper shook the Bakehouse Theater with his sellout show Saturday evening. Critics who watched the show say it was one of his best yet, captivating as if there was really magic happening up there on stage. Johnny has made no comments as of yet but his agents say this isn't the last show we've seen from him and fans and critics alike cannot wait to see what Adelaide's very own has for us next



Ghost Ship Visited Photos (03/08/2017 - Local Messenger Papers or magazines about spooky things only)
From the dark and haunted night it came. Sailing on the still gulf waters under the night of the full moon. The frozen ship visited us under the light of the full moon. Those of an enquiring mind camped along selected beaches. They were not disappointed. Photos were obtained of the ship. We at Conspiracy Fortnightly will be waiting next full moon to get you high quality photos.
(Attached are some low quality photos of a ship on the dark waters of the gulf. Too distant to see anything.)

P plater accident causes more Fatalities (03/08/2017)
P plater Adam James has died this evening as his car lost control off the Regency Expressway. Adam's car swerved at 2am this morning hitting Francine Lane who was walking her dog. Neither her nor her dog survived. Police are urging people to be safe on the roads especially throughout the winter season where the roads get cold, wet and slippery.
(Image included is of this car wrecked into the wall = http://wiki.beyondthesunset.org.au/images/e/e0/Carinthenews1980.jpg)

Ghost Ship Expected in Our Waters (03/08/2017 - Local Messenger Papers or magazines about spooky things only)
From the dark and haunted night it comes. Sailing on the still gulf waters under the night of the full moon. The frozen ship visits on the night of the full moon, or so they say. Coast watchers and ghost watchers will be camped out on the cold winters night of the 8th to see if the rumours are true. What the rumours don't state is what ship it is or why it is here.

Family of 3 found drowned in Car (01/08/2017)
A family of three, One woman and two children were found drowned inside their car this morning. Judging by the rate of decomposition and the amount of water in their lungs the Family had been submerged for some time. Police are still waiting for an Autopsy but it is thought that they had been dead for some weeks.


Burst Watermain Destroys home's foundation (30/07/2017)
A home on First street is the unfortunate victim of one of many Burst Watermains within the city, this one dealing so much Damage the home is no longer in Livable condition. The home on Brompton's first street was miraculously the only one damaged by the Watermain however the damage was so bad that it would take Thousands of dollars to even begin fixing it. The neighbours are worried for the Family which hasn't been seen for some nights after leaving for a weekend trip away at Murray Bridge.



RēGE 17 Stolen (15/07/2017)
Paintings to the value of $400 000 were stolen last night from the Elder Fine Art gallery on Melbourne Street in North Adelaide. Of most value was the work RēGE 17 by renown Adelaide artist Julian King. This classic work is one of a series speaking to a primal, instinctual anger in humans. Most notable for the physical cuts Julian sliced through the canvas as an expression of the emotions drawn forth through the creation of this series.

Businesses Demand Police Action (07/07/2017)
Business leaders in the Elizabeth CBD are demanding action from police after an increase in vandalism, extortion, muggings and other related crime. The area, already struggling to keep business numbers up, has started to see places close due to this trend. One owner, who wishes anonymity due to fears of reprisal, told us that if things continue to get worse they will have to close their third generation business due to safety concerns. The general sense of fear is palpable as everyone that is spoken to has a story of the violence with those who resist extortion often ending up in hospital.

Black Singer takes swing clubs by storm (06/07/2017)
The Swing club scene in Adelaide has exploded thanks to an African American singer known as Enchantress. Her debut in club 109 begun in the early weeks of June and packed out the club with more patrons than have ever visited before. She couples her 50s style song with stage tricks said to rival local illusionist Johnny Whisper and even global Illusionist ~☆Prospero the Enchanter☆~. Enchantress has denied any interviews thus far but we are excited to see what she does next.
(Image included of this car wrecked into the Temple = http://wiki.beyondthesunset.org.au/images/1/1e/Enchantresscofd.jpg)




Memoires of an Adelaide (29/06/2017)
Many people Lately have been admitted to the Royal Adelaide Hospital for sudden Memory loss after going Missing. 13 missing People whom have been reported to Police in the past 2 Months have suddenly re-appeared at their last seen Locations all suffering from a Strange memory loss. Police are baffled at how this can happen to so many people in such a short span of time, they have not yet ruled out Drug abuse or a failed attempt at People Trafficking. If someone you Love goes missing, or you know anything about missing people. Please Call Crime Stoppers on (Number)

Accident at Angkor Hall (26/06/2017)
Earlier this Morning a young P plater Darrien Rigder and his friends June Arnold, Riley Fraiser and Brianna Thomson were driving recklessly up Salisbury Highway at. Police say that due to the Wet conditions and speed Darrien Lost control of the vehicle and swerved through the gate entrance of Angkor hall and crashed right through into their reception building. The Crash caused 5 Fatalities including a Monk of the Temple known as Son Bopha. He was a highlight of the Community and always helped those in need smile. The Temple as of late had become home to troubled children who are very shaken by this incident.
(Image included = http://wiki.beyondthesunset.org.au/images/e/e0/Carinthenews1980.jpg)



Anonymous Tip gives us Hope (02/06/2017)
Young Amber Williams has fled from the Hospital this morning after being treated for serious stab wounds. She was a suspect in a Missing Persons case from the Salisbury Impound case. An Anonymous tipster gave us the Location of her usual route on Hindley Street which was where she was found bleeding out by Hospital workers. If anyone has seen or sees Amber Williams please contact Crime Stoppers on [Number here]


Police Statement 28/05/2017 (28/05/2017)
((This is a Live TV Broadcast, Detective Sergeant Rhiannon Jacobs is on screen))
"It is disheartening and a Shock to the community to have found multiple bags of children's bones in the Victoria Parklands earlier this week. DNA has confirmed these were the Children who were abducted from both the Hospital and North Adelaide Primary School as well as multiple others from over the years. Forensics have also confirmed these bones have obvious teeth marks which says we are dealing with a very sick individual. Police would like to ask all to be careful and make sure all children are kept under supervision at all times and to avoid leaving the house at night. We are working as hard as we can to find the culprit to these Murders and wish to bring them to Justice as fast as we can. If any have information please call the number shown on Screen to get in direct contact with the Police team we have on this case. Thank you all for your cooperation I will now take questions"

Bones found at Victoria Park (25/05/2017)
Multiple bags of Bones have been found at Victoria Park late this afternoon, It is said these might be connected to the Kidnappings of late however the Police aren't giving out many details as of yet. Stay Tuned for more details.

Peeping Tom Confesses (23/05/2017)
Japanese Exchange student Kazuka Shimaguchi Turned himself into the Port Adelaide Police station with his computer this evening. Kazu had been following, Photographing and exchanging photos of Women of many ages, some as young as 15. Police are glad and Surprised that such an individual would just turn themselves in. If you know anyone or suspect anyone of harboring underage Pornography please call this number [Phone number]

Kidnapping at Salisbury Impound (20/05/2017)
Christopher Mole an individual who works for Salisbury impound as an evening security guard had been missing since the 12th of May, To everyone's surprise once his work checked the Footage they were met with quite the shock. As seen in the image below the Man believed to be Christopher Mole was knocked unconscious by two individuals and dragged into a car. Police are hoping for any further information.
(There is a picture of a woman with long black hair and blueish grey tips, her face is heavily distorted by the camera)
(There is a young man in the picture with short cut hair his face is also heavily distorted by the camera)


Lawyer fights for Rights (17/05/2017)
As Today is International Day Against Homophobia, Transphobia and Biphobia we come together to celebrate against Bigotry as a whole, for one Lawyer this is not the case. Lewis Doulton a 36 year old Lawyer living in Adelaide was appalled at his treatment from a Hotel as he attempted to finalise their sales contract when he let slip about his sexuality. The Owners of the Restaurant whom due to Privacy laws we cannot reveal allegedly slung hateful Comments before throwing Mr Doulton physically out of their Venue. It is situations such as these that days like Today are celebrated. Lewis says he won't let this get him down and that his contact info for any needing Property help should contact him on ##########.

Mars Bar Closing (12/05/2017)
Tonight the Mars Bar closes as Previous owners decide that after 35 years enough is enough. The Adelaide Icon that had been open since 1977 has finally decided to close its doors for good. Rochelle a usual Dancer at the Club for over 5 years had this to say. "Its been a wild Ride, After 35 years who would have thought this place would finally close. I remember coming here when i first turned 18 a young perky Twink ready to explore the world around me before getting captivated in the Queens on Stage. We shall never forget the Loving and accepting Memories made here"

Child Still Missing (06/05/2017)
Nathan Cameron is still Missing, Police have searched all over North Adelaide and surrounding suburbs to find the boy but no leads have been found. If anyone has seen Him or This woman please contact the Police on 000
(Same Picture of Boy from Previous Story)
(Same Picture of Woman from Previous Story)




North Adelaide Primary Kidnapping (05/05/2017)
Urgent news: Today police are on a hunt for missing child Nathan Cameron age 6 years last seen at North Adelaide Primary at 10:30am. Witnesses from the school say they saw a woman coaxing the boy to go with her before they left to find help. Upon returning the boy was gone. North Adelaide is in lockdown as the police search for the missing child. Bellow is a picture of the missing child and the alledged kidnapper, she is thought not to be in sound mind.
(Picture of a young boy with brown hair smiling) (Drawing of Russian looking lady with unkept hair covered in leaves)



Medieval Fair in Town (04/05/2017)
The 11th Gumeracha Medieval Fair is on this weekend (6th and 7th of May) with many of your favorite attractions and more. Starting in 2008 the fair has flourished in capacity of attendance over the years and only seems to be getting more popular this year. Estimate of bursting capacity has been whispered through the city this month but the Torrens Valley Volunteers aren't fearful, No instead they welcome the bursting community that want to come and share in something they are passionate about. Interviews from the Fair are to come in the following week.

City Watch to begin (25/04/2017)
Adelaide City Council voted Monday to install CCTV cameras all throughout the CBD. This was to help decrease the Crime rate that has been currently spiraling out of control. "If we have Cameras people will be less inclined to Steal, It works in shops so why not in the city itself? London has CCTV installed anywhere and everywhere. Of course this will not include places that would breach privacy laws. We should have them all up and running by the end of the Week. Normally this would take Months however we understand the importance to fast-track such an issue"

Another Baby Stolen (21/04/2017)
Another Baby has gone missing from the Women's and Children's hospital not even a week after the first. One-year-old George Tibalt was stolen from his room early this morning after recovering from Surgery. His Mother and Father are devastated and blame the Hospital for its incapacity to care for its patients. Police once again have found CCTV footage to be lacking in evidence and are concerned for the Safety of other children inside the Hospital. Detective Sergeant Rhiannon Jacobs had this to say "Whomever you are, Please these are just children, Bring them back to their Parents. These are lives you're playing with." (Picture of a 1 year old smiling boy is seen here)

The Great Debate (16/04/2017)
For many years we have heard the Great Debate. Does pineapple go on pizza? Charlotte Newton, a Biologist at Flinders University, is trying to find out that exact question. "We have all been in those heated arguments late at night as we prepare to order our favourite greasy takeaway. So why not end the fighting and find out the REAL answer?" Her research is yet to take off the ground, but we are sure the results will be astounding.

Baby Stolen from Women's and Children's, Family devastated (13/04/2017)
Little William was stolen this morning from the Women's and Children's hospital only days after his birth. His mother waking this morning after a long and needed sleep only to find her baby boy gone. Nurses and Doctors have been searching high and low trying to find the baby. CCTV strangely has found no evidence of anyone going in or out of the room with the child. Police are now investigating the matter (picture of 7 day old baby here)

Easter Rush ends with Chocolate Shortage (12/04/2017)
With the Easter Holidays only days away everyone is rushing to their stores to pick out that foil covered brown sweet we have all come to know and love, Unfortunately supply and Demand was low this easter with nearly every store in South Australia running low on Chocolate. Witnesses are shocked and appalled at the failed insight into this holiday and the importance to have that famously addictive sweet in our homes this weekend, one had this to say. "How could they not know how much Chocolate they'd need? Its not like the city doubled in mouths this past year! We didn't have this issue last year! What an absolute Joke" Local confectionary maker Melba's Chocolates and confectioners had this to say in response. "We're not sure what happened? Our numbers were almost double what we made last year yet all the stock just flies out the door. We can't make enough to keep up with everyone this Easter". Please have your say in the poll at www.thisisafakelink.com ((OOC this is a real link IC not labelled as a fake link))

Dead Bodies found, Trident Stolen (09/04/2017)
Police were called to the Adelaide Museum last night where 2 adult males were found dead in the Museum's storage room. The two individuals had been hired as temporary security to protect the Trident the Museum was planning on revealing in May later this year. One of the Victims, Stanley Woods, Is a great loss to our society. His wife and child now left to fend for themselves in the world, they had this to say. "Our Stanley was a very good man. He'd leave the house, go to work and earn a living and would then come back to myself and our daughter... I blame the man they found with him, this is all his fault". Police had no more to say about the investigation and will be making a press conference later in the week.




Trident Uncovered from Ancient Underwater City (02/04/2017)
Archaeologists uncover a rare and fascinating find from the bottom of the Ocean close to the Bermuda triangle. The "Under-sea Trident" Has been donated to the Adelaide Museum and will be revealed to the public next month.

17 ways this local psychic will amaze you. You won't believe #3! (24/03/2017)
Local Psychic and Mystic showman demonstrated his talent. Johnny Whisper, a Psychic with seven major crimes solved to his name, put on an amazing show for the crowd. Keeping with the surreal nature of the Fringe Whisper kept his act offbeat and surreal.
1. Sleep of the Dead
<photo of woman laying on a table>
Johnny Whisper wowed the crowd by putting this woman in a hypnotic trance she appeared dead. Select members of the crowd were even asked to try to find her pulse and couldn't.
2. The Flickering Darkness
Calling to the spirits to come forward and aid him the lights started to flicker off, car, street and even the lights on phones.
3. Photos Can Lie
<A photo of the street. No Johnny>
Next Johnny just waved his hand a smiled. Told us it was photo time. He posed. A few people took photos. He told them to check the pictures. Through some illusion or trickery he was not on any of the pictures.
4. Any Card
While I have seen people do card tricks this one was new. Johnny had someone pick a card and show him. Then he let the crowd pass cards between them as they pleased. He focused his powers and pointed at one person. They revealed the card they had and presto, it was the selected card.
(The Article Continues...)

Mum's open daycare for Un-vaccinated Children. (20/03/2017)
Sparks fly as Mother of 3 and self-proclaimed Anti-Vax Queen Patricia Door announces to the public via Facewit that she's going to be Starting her own Daycare specifically for Un-vaccinated Children. "Big Pharma has gotten into the public daycare system, telling us mothers how to raise our children by placing horrible toxins into their bodies. This way they can all get sick together and gain the natural immunity our body gets from being sick" Doctor Gregory Tristen from the Royal Adelaide Hospital had this to say in response "Patricia seems to be your run of the Mill Anti-Vaxer, Against anything her GP says even if its beneficial to her Children, Why anyone would want to leave their kids with her for 9 to 10 hours of the day baffles me" More on this story to come in the coming weeks.

Local Girl found stripped of Flesh (19/03/2017)
A young girl from North Adelaide Chelsea Burton's body was found last Friday night at 7:35pm in Kadlitpina Park. Officers are Baffled at the lack of witnesses with the Fringe so full of life. The young girls body was found hanging skinless from a Tree just above the "Freakshow" slideshow. Performers of the Fringe promise patrons that there will be no closure of events and that they will be helping the police with the Investigation as much as they can. If anyone has any information please contact police on 000.

Crime Increase, No one is Safe from the 5 finger Gangs (16/03/2017)
Adelaide Crime is on the Rise in recent days as petty theft, pickpocketing and shoplifting reports soar. Many Patrons report underage kids banding together to create gangs of thieves that pick on small deli's, Convenience Stores and your unsuspecting Grandmothers on their afternoon bingo trip. Police urge civilians to keep an eye and ear out for these pesky minors.

Paper News Dead, Digital Era Evolves (12/03/2017)
Online Survey says Consumers don't bother buying the newspaper anymore. Instead your average Joe subscribes to his news on the internet on such famous sites like Faceter and Twitbook. Sam Weir Editor of The Advertiser has this to say. "The Digital Era may bring news Faster, but it doesn't always deliver the Facts. Click bait is everywhere these days and you never know if what you're reading is true or not" Joahna Sun one of Beefood's journalists responded with "Why go outside to get your news when it can all be had at the touch of a button? Sure not everything is right, but isn't that the same with the newspapers themselves? We can edit our work online but once it's printed, you'd better hope you don't need to change anything."

To have your say go to www.whyreadpaperwhyreadonline.org (OOC this is not a real link)

She lost 7 Kilos in less than 3 days, How she did it will shock you! (11/03/2017)
Eliza Smith single mother of 3 Lives in Prospect just north of the City, in early July last year she found herself with a very odd lump growing just next to her nipple. After some careful consideration and coaching from her friends, Eliza went to seek medical attention at the Women's and Children's Hospital. The Lump baffled Doctors who after many tests concluded that the lump was not Cancer but was, in fact, a pocket full of Milk. Eliza had fallen to a Phantom Pregnancy so rare that even she didn't know it was happening. The Pocket was weighing her down at a whopping 7kg larger than her normal weight. It took the doctors less than 24 hours to drain the fluid and send her on her way.