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The Blue Tongue

All the news that is fit to print in Roxby Downs

August 2017 News

13/08/2017 Chicken and Beer Grand Re-opening

Community spirit is alive and well in Roxby Downs as popular eatery Chicken and Beer reopened this week. Owner Rho Mi-ran says that the extra donations received have been used to expand the seating area and take on more staff as the popularity of the restaurant has surged.

Many of the businesses that have contributed to community appeal funds to aid the Rho family after the April attack have reported upswings in business as well as a result of positive community perception. As Mikey Jones said on Friday night "Sometimes you don't always want chicken. And if this other joint helped them get back on their feet when they could've done pretty well out of Rho's being out of business, well - they're worth checking out"

11/08/2017 Pig Thefts Continue to Baffle

Police and farming groups alike continue to be baffled at the numbers of livestock going missing seemingly without a trace. Security has been increased on properties and fencing improved yet animals are still disappearing on a regular basis. Farming collectives are talking about installing CCTV in an attempt to pinpoint how the animals are being removed from the properties

11/08/2017 Not Quite Monkey Business
The Zoo is re-opening next Week. With a new Elephant and a minor redesign the Zoo has had lots of support from the local Council to get this attraction back on it’s feet. There hasn’t yet been a statement releaced by the new owner but Head Keeper Katherine Burgess has said “Its an exciting time to come back to the Zoo. We have someone passionate about this place and our Animals”.

July 2017 News

15/07/2017 Zootopia
The Zoo is currently in negotiation to be purchased. While many details haven’t been released, feelers have gone out to current maintenance staff who remain and those that have already left, and an effort to return ‘repurchase’ any animals sent away already.

10/07/2017 Purloined Porkers
A spate of livestock thefts has hit pig operators of Roxby Downs recently. Farmers and police alike are mystified how the animals are being removed from the properties as there have been no signs of tampering with fences. Several operators have increased security measures and police are appealing for anyone with information to come forward.

June 2017 News

14/06/2017 Chicken And Beer
The Fund Raiser for “Rho’s Chicken and Beer” rebuild is going great. Nathan Briggs, a Nightshift Leading Hand at the mine has said that “We’re about half way there. Just another $25,000 and they be able to afford all the repairs. Once it’s open again, the Lads and me aren’t going to eat anywhere else for a while, lets show them they really matter”.
Owner Rho Mi-ran has been overwhelmed by the Community Support

12/06/2017 Worker Unrest
Workers from both the Olympic Dam Mine and Water Purification Plant have made a request to Union Officials about a “Fairer Deal” in regards to the City and its inhabitants. High on the list for negotiation is ‘Services required for Survival’ as many believe that payment back to the mine for the “Privilege” of working here are excessive.
A Representative from the mine has been unavailable for statement

01/06/2017 Zoo Closure
The Roxby Zoo and Vet Clinic closed its doors late May and now the Animals are finally gone. Throughout the last Month slowly the Animals have been sent to other Zoo’s around the Country in an effort to keep them in a suitable environment.

May 2017 News

20/05/2017 - Mother of Three Found Dead at Local Picnic Spot
Police are calling for anyone who may have been in the area of Lookout Hill on Saturday 20th May to contact the station after the body of Jessica Walters, 33 was found in the toilet block after a brief search. Ms Walters was reported missing when she failed to collect her three children from football that afternoon. The circumstances of her death are unknown and considered to be suspicious.


20/05/2017 - Police are targeting Car Hoons
After three nights of complaints from residents and concerned citizens Roxby Downs Police are targeting Speeding and unsafe driving. Police Spokesperson Ryan McKay has stated that any information on the recent Hoon activities would be welcome.


16/05/2017 - Graffiti or Art
A recent outbreak of Graffiti Art work has graced our city. What was puzzling was the method in which it was done. A Group of well organise people, in Board Daylight with Signs keeping people away set themselves up as if it was paid work. Security didn’t bother them and witnesses even stood and watched some of them. Identities where concealed as they wore safety breathing masks for protection and white painters overalls. The Roxby Downs Public Library and Botanical Garden Greenhouse both had stylised images of the strange reddish purple Dragon fruit sprayed upon them. The Workers Club and Illusion both had Kiwifruit, The Church “Our Lady of Virtue” and the Hospital Clinic both had Stylised Blood Oranges, Three suburban signs and a Lamp post had Acorns and finally Grapes on the entry Sign to the Olympic Dam Mine, Bar 11.04, Glow and a quick Stencilled outline on Dynastie House.
Police are investigating and all leads are appreciated.


14/05/2017 - Jameson Hunting Goods Knife Sale
Jameson Hunting Supplies have made an impact on blanket advertising today. 90% of Billboards, Bus stop Ads, and Bin Ads have been taken up with Advertisements displaying various hunting knives, fishing knives, skinning knives, folding knives etc. Jameson Spokesperson, Karen Thorton said that with one mistake and an over order we have far too much stock. An Advertising plan was put to us and with a new Partnership to push forward we decided to go all out. We’ve even hired smart cars towing ad trailers to drive down the strip.
Well, Good Luck and Good Hunting Jameson Hunting Goods

April 2017 News

18/04/2017 - Terror Attack at Chicken and Beer
Last night at approximately 11:50pm Rho’s Chicken and Beer was attacked by a Shot Gun wielding Bikie. A Harley Davison with no plates pulled up in front of Rho’s and fired both Barrels into the shop, reloaded and then Fired again before tearing off into the night. Two people were hospitalised with gunshot wounds including Rho Mi-ran and 19 people treated for minor Injuries. Rho Mi-ran, the owner and Genius behind this restaurant is in a stable condition at home, and she released this statement. “We are very sorry to the Person who shot up our shop, for we wish to not give you offence. We wish to not give you Offence, and if you come to us once we are rebuilt, you may eat and drink. We just want everybody to have good time and we forgive you for your Violence”. Many of the work crews in the Mine have started a collection to help Mrs Rho rebuild. One Supervisor said, “Hey, one of our own, a worker her that puts it all on the line with us every day, his family and business has been attacked. And We Won’t Stand for it” Police have stated that Motorcycle Violence has gone on far enough and they have called for reinforcements to begin a new Operation, however no further details have been released.

17/4/2017 – Man Glassed in the Street
Mr Graham Turner after leaving a night club was attacked with a smashed bottle. Mr Turner was Hospitalised and his assailant was Arrested.

16/04/2017 – Pillar of the Community Missing
Police are calling for public assistance into the disappearance of local personality Edward McGillivray, 27 and his two associates, Jonathan Reeves and Mark Hamilton. Mr McGillivray was last seen exiting nightclub 3AM Eternal on Saturday 1st April and has not been seen since. He has not been in contact with friends or relatives and his bank accounts remain untouched. Police wish to speak to anyone who was in the vicinity at approximately 2.30am and may have seen Mr McGillivray or his two companions as they left the club. Mr McGillivray is described as 6ft 3in tall, blonde hair and was wearing a distinctive white suit. Mr Reeves is described as being 32 years of age, 5ft 11in and brown hair, Mr Hamilton as 29 years, 6ft 1in and black hair. Both were wearing plain black suits. Anyone witnessing the trio or with information regarding their movements of the evening in question are asked to call the police hotline.

12/04/2017 Korean Restaurant takes Roxby by Storm
Know your Target Audience is possibly the best advice any business owner can get and it’s certainly has helped new Korean Restaurant Rho’s Chicken and Beer. Having opened just a week ago it has been filled to capacity every night, and they have even added a Morning shift to cater to all those coming off night Shift at the Mine.

Rho’s Chicken is at its cheap best when you take a lot of people – that way you can get a whole chook for $32, which will feed three to four depending on gluttony levels. Partnering with the local Micro Brewery Mt Olympus Brewing who provide them with custom 2 litre kegs of Zeus’ Pale Ale the Restaurant has proved incredibly popular.

It’s owner Rho Mi-ran said “We couldn’t be happier. We moved up from Melbourne so my Husband could work, so I opened a Restaurant to keep myself busy. What did I know huh”

Rho’s Chicken and Beer is open from 5:30pm to 1:30am and 5:30am to 1:30pm

March 2017 News

27/03/2017 Minor Tremor at Mine

A small tremor at the mine sent security and miners running last night. The mining company says that is was within safety tolerances.

14/03/2017 Roxby’s New Train Station Revealed

The new Roxby Down’s passenger terminal opened today 2 days ahead of schedule.

Residents of Roxby and visitors will now have access to a train station with modern, safe and comfortable features. Commuters will benefit from a double sided platform with seating and shelters, electronic signs, Outback Metro electronic ticketing, bus bays and a taxi rank, 350 car parking spaces, secure bike cages and drop off zones. Security features at the terminal include closed circuit camera security surveillance (CCTV) Protective Services Officer facilities and state of the art screens that separate commuters from the trains.

“The screens aid in cueing for the carriages and are a great security and noise control feature” Mr Bryce-Ashmore, Vice President of King’s Transport said at an early morning press conference.

“Platform screen doors are quite common the world over, with systems existing in London, Tokyo, Korea and Dubai among other places.”

In the coming months, final works will take place at the station to complete landscaping. The much-loved palm trees which were temporarily re-homed during construction will be returned to the area by the end of April.

The sleeper train service will also make life far easier for the FiFo workers coming from Adelaide as they will be able to travel overnight while resting rather than making the journey via plane. The first commercial carriages will begin arriving in Roxby on Tuesday.

12/03/2017 A Decade of Doughies

Coming up is the 10th anniversary of the opening of the Roxby Downs Motorsport Park. A wide mix of races will be on over the weekend culminating in Sundays major events. Come and smell the rubber.

9/03/2017 Unknown Virus on the Rise

Health officials are trying to calm panic after a series of workers have been floored with a serious and unidentified illness. Anyone with the following symptoms should present themselves to emergency with all due haste; chronic low blood pressure, blood loss, severe breathing problems, collapses, and chest pains.

1/03/2017 Four Arrested in Bikie Raids

Police responded swiftly this morning to yesterdays attack by the Goats MC. The dawn raid awoke the neighbourhood as a bulldozer was used to destroy the fortifications made on their local head quarters. Four people showing signs of heavy drug use were arrested. Police declined to comment on quantities of drugs and money taken into custody.

February 2017 News

28/02/2017 Zoo Attack Ends in Two Dead

(Name To Be Added) Zoo and Veterinary Clinic are closed after a viscous and senseless attack by Goats MC members around noon today. In a rather confused situation two members of the Goats MC attacked the (Name) Clinic and Zoo with shotguns and Molotovs. In unclear circumstances members of the public appear to have defended the animals and stabbed the outlaw gang members to death in the following fight. Police are looking for a couple in their mid 20s to help them with their enquiries.

27/02/2017 Protest End in Stampede

A protest today by the CFMEU ended in a Stampede that caused the hospitalisation of numerous people. The protest that was about increasing the already generous wages of the mine workers took a turn when a lorry the Golf Club was using back fired. Some of the union members fled, causing injuries to the families that had come along for the day out. Representatives of the Olympic Mine, who were at a Masquerade Ball in the club, showed great generosity in providing first aid to the injured families. Mine officials had apparently already promised a 250 Thousand Dollar improvement fund for the city but we are yet to receive confirmation about this.

25/02/2017 Three Die in Helicopter Crash

Three die in helicopter crash. Fourth member alive in a critical condition in Saint Alexander General Hospital. The group were a survey team undertaking a works survey at the Olympic Dam mine. The helicopter crashed in the overflow lake causing contamination fears. The names have been released to the families which comes as a particular disaster to the Hamilton family with a set of identical twins involved in the accident with one dead.

21/02/2017 LBGT Fundraiser a Success

A Christian community outreach program hosted a fundraiser for the local LGBT community. A bake sale was held raising the support and visibility of an often marginalised segment of our community. A spokesperson for the community said that is was "a grand day for the community to show the LGBT members of it that they are welcome. After the recent homophobic attacks, particularly against gay men, it was amazing to know that most of the community welcomed them."

15/02/2017 A Full Belly

A local farmer has started giving the cities needy population healthy and plentiful food. This simple but meaningful measure has been promised to be the first of many.

10/02/2017 Respected Priest Passes Away

Father Samuel McElhone, Pastor at Our Lady of Virtue, passed away peacefully in his sleep over night. Father McElhone was the founding Pastor at the church and was beloved by all he met. The community will be lesser for his loss.

07/02/2017 Street Race Claims Two

Two local youths died last night when their car crashed during a suspected street race. Chief Inspector Jefferies has warned of a rising number of street races and subsequent car crashes.

02/02/2017 Local Mine Worker Missing

Local mine worker, Anton Dracovich went missing last night. Police are considering the circumstances suspicious as he has uncharacteristically missed work. If anyone has seen him in the last few days they are to contact the police.

<Photo Attached, PM VST for copy>

January 2017 News

29/01/2017 3AM Eternal Opens

The newest and greatest club in town, 3AM Eternal, opened over the weekend. Themed after Dante's Inferno the club did a roaring trade all weekend. The club hasn't commented on the night, keeping it's media silence policy going; however, our reports indicate they had a massive turnover.

16/01/2017 Sports Carnival Records

The Roxby Downs Area Schools Summer Holidays Sports Carnival was an outstanding success. 17 records were broken and the students are looking forward to SAPSASA trials latter in the year. The school says that it is proud of all its students, especially Onnab Vic, a 17 year old Sudanese refugee who also works part time in the Olympic Damn mine who broke three long distance running records.

07/01/2017 3am Eternal to Open

The cities new hot spot 3am Eternal will be opening on the 28th in a 36 hour extravaganza that will go from dusk Saturday night to Dawn on Monday morning. We have little information about the club except that there will be three floors themed from the Divine Comedy; Above, Between and Below.

03/01/2017 As The Romans Do
When In Rome, a new takeaway food store, has opened in Roxby Downs. In the days since its opening, the business has been booming, and many are complimenting the food and service received within.

01/01/2017 With a Bang
New Years Celebrations in Roxby Downs were a sight this time around, as the Fireworks display doubled in its usual splendor. Locals were able to see it from most locations in the city, though a popular choice appeared to be driving out from the city a ways to take in the full majesty of the show.
Police are praising the residents of Roxby Downs as the entire festive season went smoothly and quietly. Members of the police force have been quoted as saying: “It seems that even crime takes a break over Christmas.”

December 2016 News

6/12/2016 3AM Eternal to Open
Part of a drive to increase the economic vibrancy the local council has approved the opening of a new night club called 3AM Eternal. Not much information is yet known about the club due to an information black out by the owners.

6/12/2016 Scarlet Success
The re-opening event for Scarlet Sage went off without a hitch.
The new proprietors of one of Roxby Downs' more niche boutiques, Isabel Bryce-Ashmore and Holly Grant, hosted an event for Roxby's finest on Sunday night.
Wine and small-talk were exchanged as though this event were a cotillion and not a store opening, but it seemed to be a hit with the city's socialite society, who flocked to the event and fawned over the creations of fashion stylist Lorenzo Rose.
The designs were immaculate, the new owners polite and down to earth; things were brought and money donated for a good cause*.
A wonderful event, a wonderful store. Scarlet Sage will be open on its usual business hours from Monday.

• All earnings from the VIP opening event are donated to the family of Helena Wallis.
  
  

1/12/2016 Wonder Woman
The streets felt safe last night as Ashe Lindermann and a group of the security from Siren Security took it on themselves and their own time to patrol the club district. Some of the local women have started calling her 'the Wonder Woman' as she has been seen to take down men twice her size with ease. The feelings of the patrons was that with women like Ashe keeping the streets safe, and the security from Siren Security, going out at night might start being as safe as it used to be.

November 2016 News

28/11/2016 3 Dead in Brutal Murders
Three people were found dead in one of the cool rooms of the closed A1 Meat Storage Facility. Police are refusing to comment but word is that the bodies were killed individually and ritualistically over the last two weeks.

24/11/2016 Olympic Damn Family Day
The Olympic Damn holds a family day, celebrating and remembering the sacrifices of the recently lost miners at the mine. CEO Charlotte McGillivray gave a speech highlighting the importance of the work of the miners and how they contribute to the security of the nation. Highlighting the recent power loss to the state, due to renewables, she spoke of the importance of the Torrens Island Nuclear Power Plant (OOC: Only exists in game world). She promised to look after the families of the lost and regrets any past failures to do so.
The day went well. It had a sombre tone but overall it was a pleasant day.

20/11/2016 $4 million early learning upgrade
Roxby Downs could have a new “best practice” model of early learning services by 2018, with a $4 million upgrade announced by SA Premier Jay Weatherill this week.
Visiting Roxby Downs as part of the Country Cabinet tour on Tuesday, Mr Weatherill said BHP Billiton and the State Government would each contribute $2 million to the initiative, aimed at supporting and improving early learning and family services in Roxby Downs.
While the project is still in its infancy, it could result in a new facility potentially located in the current Roxby Downs Area School precinct.

17/11/2016 Missing Bodies of Killers
The bodies of the attackers on the Dark Carnival have gone missing before they could be sent to the coroners office. Police have made no comment about bikie links to trying to avoid proof of iceBerg use in the attackers.

16/11/2016 iceBerg
A new super drug called Iceberg, or iceBerg or Berg is being distributed in the city. It is believed to be made by bikies and they are using Roxby Downs as a test before distributing this potent and extremely addictive drug further afield. It is considered at least three times more addictive than Ice and causes users to be stronger and nearly impervious to pain.

16/11/2016 Carnival in Deadly Attack
The perpetrators of the attack on the Dark Carnival are dead after trying to run at police and Olympic security personnel. It is believed they were high on a new version of Ice that police are warning the city about. The final death toll is four with seven missing and 33 injured in attacks and the stampede to clear the area. The Carnival is now planning to leave the city.

15/11/2016 Breaking News: Carnival in Deadly Attack
The Dark Carnival has been set on fire during what appeared to be a riot. Not many details have come out yet but there are reported deaths and many people missing. The riot seems to have been started by people demanding the worship of a God called Kormac. Police have the location secured.

13/11/2016 Scarlet Survival
Many of our readers will recall the tragic story of Helena Wallis, owner of the fashion boutique Scarlet Sage found murdered in her home in late October. The fate of up to 20 employees hung in the balance as the community tried to come to terms with the loss of one of its favourite daughters.

This office is happy to report that the Scarlet Sage has been saved. A consortium of local business owners, including Glow owner Holly Grant have bailed out the troubled enterprise and engaged the services of up and coming Melbourne Fashion Stylist Lorenzo Rose to head up the new look store.

Staff of Scarlet Sage have been given time off to mourn the loss of their former employer Helena, and will return to work for the grand reopening VIP night. All Profits from the VIP night will be donated to the family of Helena Wallis.

October 2016 News

31/10/2016 Local Larrikin Murdered: Update
In a show of complete disrespect a party was held in the house of the late Derrick Hudson. The culmination of which lead to a fire that burned much of the property, including many irreplaceable pieces of memorabilia. Police would like to speak to a young woman with dreadlocks in relation to this.

30/10/2016 Local Larrikin Murdered
Local larrikin and pool sharp Derrick Hudson was found murdered behind the bar Fools Gold today. Hudson, known for making money off of pool games, was beaten to death by a solid object. Police are considering the death suspicious. Hudson was Australia's number 4 player of snooker and represented the country at the world stage. His body will be sent to Sydney for a funeral to be held later in the week. The papers thoughts and prayers are with his family and friends.

28/10/2016 Police Officer Sweeps up a Spree Killer
Police Constable Knight is being praised for his excelent attention to detail and work with the community in the capture and arrest of an alleged spree killer. The man, who's identity has been suppressed, worked as a janitor at Saint Alexander's Hospital. His motives are unclear currently. Constable Knight is rapidly becoming an officer of merit and is expected to receive a Police Medal for his work on this case.

27/10/2016 Cure for Cancer?
Have local doctors at the St Alexander General Hospital found a cure for cancer? Dr White says, possibly. In a world first experiment on alternative medicines Dr White’s team believe that they have found one that works. While keeping the details of the study secret for the moment, due the rarity of the animal needed for the treatment, Dr White hopes that by the time their treatment becomes accepted in the broader medical practice a synthetic equivalent will be available.

24/10/2016 Scarlet Letter
Roxby Downs business owner, Helena Wallis was found dead in her home midday yesterday. Wallis, owner of fashion boutique store Scarlet Sage had apparently not been able to be reached by friends and family all morning yesterday. Wallis had been expected at one of Roxby Downs’ prestigious parks that morning for her wedding to Roxby Downs resident Julian Veich.
Friends of Wallis, who was two months pregnant according to police, say that she had not been seen since she was escorted from local club GLOW on Saturday night after an incident with Veich.
Wallis had moved to Roxby Downs from Ballarat, Victoria in 2014 to be with Veich who she had met on popular dating website e-harmony. The two had been happy and gotten engaged in late 2015.
Veich was taken into custody soon after the body of Wallis was discovered. No charges have been made as of the moment.
Up to twenty people are set to lose their jobs from the closing of Scarlet Sage with the death of Wallis.

23/10/2016 GLOWing Bright
Prestigious Roxby Downs Nightclub GLOW reopened its doors last night for the first time since the attack that was made some weeks ago. Labelled a ‘soft launch’ by club owner Holly Grant, there seemed to be no change to the atmosphere that the people flock to the club for.
Miss Grant has said that the full launch will be taking place next weekend that that all are, as always, welcome to attend.

22/10/2016 Have Fun.
Residents of Roxby Downs awoke this morning to find lewd graffiti painted on walls and sidewalks. This graffiti depicted various sexual positions that could be utilized in these locations.
There has been a small outcry by many religious members of the community as well as many parents regarding these small pieces of artwork.

18/10/16 Advertisement: Hiring - Editor
The Blue Tongue has a position open in its Editorial Department. You will have proven experience as an editor, excellent judgement on story selection, proven management skills and be decisive and comfortable working in a team. You will be expected write lead stories and opinion pieces on many subjects.
To apply, email your resume and cover letter to hr@thebluetongue.com.au

18/10/16 An Apology
At The Blue Tongue, we’re proud of our rigorous editorial process. Something went wrong in that process and we at The Blue Tongue would like to issue an apology for the quality of recent editorial standards.

14/10/2016 House Fire
That burned house was some kind of satanic suicide cult and linked to the bombing at Glow. <generic heartfelt sentiments>

13/10/2016 House Fire
A house burned down. Does this even rate anymore?

12/10/2016 Ritual Killing of Woman
A local woman, Anne Parks, was found dead today. Police suspect a ritual killing of a potential serial killer. The body had been whipped to death and placed where it wouldn't be found until the height of the day. The police have released this photo of Anne Parks and ask anyone with information to come forward. Anne Parks

09/10/2016 Victorian Organised Crime Linked to Local Attacks.
South Australia Police will broaden an investigation into attempts by what is believed to be Victorian Organised Crime groups to infiltrate and intimidate Roxby Down's nightclub industry following a spate of shootings, fire bombings and two violent attacks on venues over the past month.
On Tuesday, the Mayor will reach out to key stakeholders in a bid to curb an alarming surge in violent crime, including the shooting of six men involved with nightclubs since September. Despite his strong sentiments against outlaw motorcycle gangs, he claims he has been shown no evidence to suggest they were responsible for these attacks.

07/10/2016 Union Complaints at Abattoir
The local butchers union threatened industrial action today claiming that the Greener Pastures Abattoir has employed, in secret, an additional night shift. The union claim that work was completed overnight by workers not on the books. The companies denies any such arrangement. Saying that this is just another tactic by union thugs in the middle of a pay dispute.

05/10/2016 Advertisement: The Rough Tradie
A new adult erotica store has been opened near The Strip. We have all manner of adult delights from Black Mamba's to Adult Massages ;) From Senior Administrative Nurse outfits to 100Ltr bulk lube jars. Open 24/7 for the discerning customer. Hope to see you soon. xxx VV xxx

September 2016 News

25/09/2016 Museum Theft
Last night parts of our traditional history were stolen in what appears to have been a snatch and grab at the Roxby Downs Museum last night. The police state that the thief waited until the Museum was closed before brazenly performing a snatch and grab on the relic. Sources in the security suspect an inside job that relied on the inefficiency of the security cameras in dark when it came to the quickness of movement. When asked about this Museum officials stated that they were considering an upgrade of the security camera system if the city can release the funds.

23/09/2016 Miracle of the Equinox
Residents of the town have woken to a spring miracle. Plants and grass have bloomed and boomed overnight. Witness claim around 11:50 last night a great blooming of all flowers happened and by this morning the city was in a level of natural spender not seen for some time.

21/09/2016 Bodies in the Bins
In a dark crime that has shades of the Snowtown killings a series of dismembered corpses has been found in dumpsters near The Strip. While police aren't commenting much at this stage from the reports we have it seems the bodies and severed limbs were displayed and pointed down another alleyway in which they found three older corpses. Local police are handling the matter due to the overworking of Adelaide police with their own wave of spree killings and mutilations.

18/09/2016 The Satanic Verses
Reports have been received that The Satanic Temple of South Australia, which is based in Adelaide, and has chapters in several states, has been moving to counter well-funded fundamentalist Christian organizations that it believes are eroding the values in public schools. An unidentified local school has been approached to begin an after school program of religious education. The unnamed source said the after-school program would show "that people can be of different religious opinions and still be moral, upright people."

16/09/2016 Church Opens Its Doors
The Church of Roxby Downs will be opening it's doors for public service this coming Sunday. The service, which will be going from 9am to 9pm will be a time of reflection and peace. Father Samuel McElhone will be running the services for the entire period as a show of vigor and resillience that the Lord bestows on his servants. All the community of Roxby Downs are invited to attend the service.

15/09/2015 First Day
The Roxby Library had its first weekly book club today and turn out was better than expected. Library staff expect even better attendance in the coming weeks.

14/09/2016 Book Club Comes Back
Popular romance author, Estelle Monroe, is reportedly moving to Roxby Downs this week to begin research on her new novel. Monroe's previous best sellers include Pack Heart (a werewolf romance), Hope From The Deep (a demon romance), and Shifting Skins (a shapeshifting romance). While in town Monroe is hoping to restart the lost library book club. It's unsure how long Monroe will be in town but you can find her daily live journal of her trip at estelleromancex.livejournal.com

13/09/2016 Mystery Man Manages to Stabilise
The man who viciously assaulted and killed a pedestrian outside of 11.04 has reached a stable condition in hospital and authorities are hoping he will make enough of a recovery to be able to answer questions about the incident.

12/09/2016 Vicious Assault by Bar
Tragedy rocked the 11.04 bar early this morning as a man, described as having a mohawk, viciously attacked and killed a pedestrian. The man, supposedly having overdosed on ice, was arrested by police when he was found passed out with the body down an alleyway. The police are encouraging witnesses to step forward about the incident.

11/09/2016 Car Crash Craziness
Traffic was stopped today after a car crash outside of the Illusion bar. No one was killed but a pedestrian and the driver are currently both hospitalised. The driver is expected to face negligent driving charges.

10/09/2016 Big Bang Boom
Mr Long's general store has been fined $1000 after it was caught selling illegal fireworks. Mr Long has assured The Blue Tongue that it was simply a clerical error and that it will not happen for a third time.

10/09/2016 Rain on the Plain
A freak micro-climate formed above the Clyde K. Mitchell greenhouse around 2am last night. The micro-climate gave the plants of the greenhouse a soaking, thankfully there was no damage.

09/09/2016 One Man's Trash is Another Kid's Future
The Roxby Downs city council have announced a new initiative to keep the city clean this week. Roxby Downs Primary students will spend a lesson a week working on community enrichment projects including rubbish collecting and learning about the environment.

09/09/2016 Getting Ahead
Three teenage girls were arrested and charged today for disorderly conduct and traffic disruption. The girls, all 17, were reported to have been wearing very small shorts, no shoes, and hoodies with polystyrene heads in the hoods, while being recorded for a popular web based video sharing service. Authorities were alerted to their antics after they stopped traffic on Axehead Road to dance to pop music.

08/09/2016 Survey Starting
A collaborative effort of three leading universities across Australia are teaming up to conduct surveys on life in small towns and will include questions related to costs and substance abuse, the survey is completely opinional to participate in but those who do will be supplied a $25 voucher for Woolworths in return for their time.

08/09/2016 Bottle-o Break-in
Police arrested a local teenager today after he was caught attempting to rob the Black Stump bottle-o with a large knife. Police are questioning the man in regards to the theft at Jameson Hunting Goods earlier this week. His family has stated that, "he was always such a good boy, he would never have done something like this". He is expected to face trial in the coming weeks.

07/09/2016 Cratering Out
Emergency services were alarmed today to find a sinkhole suddenly forming in the Roxby Downs football oval. The sinkhole, which is reported to be multiple metres in diameter, was discovered when two teams of local kids were going for their daily kick about. It was regrettably found when one of the boys, Jackson Marks, fell and the ground collapsed beneath him. The area has been cordoned off with police tape and officers are beginning to investigate why the sewers seem to come under the oval. Residents are asked to be extremely careful when playing on the oval.

07/09/2016 Mine-dful Optimism
Executives of the Olympic Mine predict it should be reopening for work on the 12th of September after final safety checks have been approved. A spokesperson for the mine has said, "we look forward to getting everyone back to work and putting this travesty behind us. God willing the new safety features we have in place will prevent any further harm to come to our staff".

07/09/2016 Great Greenhouse Regrowth
The Clyde K Mitchell Memorial Greenhouse is almost finished repairs after the damages caused to it during the earthquake on the 14th of August. The representative of the Memorial, Michael Roberts, stated that he predicts the work will be completed in the next week.

07/09/2016 Funding Falls Flat Finally
Governmental budget cuts to the Australian Broadcasting Corporation (ABC) has caused widespread closing down of community radio stations in outback regions. This has been widely regarded as a terrible idea and some towns are organising protest rallies in their cities.

06/09/2016 Grey Skies Ahead
Residents were shocked last week after a patch of rain actually swept over the city. The rain has caused some tufts of grass to grow in some places. The grass is not expected to last long with the arrival of spring. We ask the citizens of Roxby to enjoy the greener pastures while they're available.

06/09/2016 Scones for Hearts
The Country Women's Association (CWA) will be hosting a fundraiser in Roxby Downs in conjunction with Variety on the 30/9/2016. Residents are asked to open their pockets and their hearts to delicious baked charity when the women come to town.

06/09/2016 Guns for Theft
Local hunting supplies store, Jameson Hunting Goods, was robbed last night. At about 4am police claim the alarms of the shop were deactivated and the door was cut open. The perpetrator is said to have stolen a series of shotguns, rifles, high calibre pistols, and various sizes of knives. The thief did not manage to crack the safe for the store earning and neither did they manage to take any ammunition before fleeing local authorities. Police ask all residents of Roxby Downs to be careful of people acting suspicious and to be mindful of the sounds of gunfire. Please call police if you know of any suspicious activity.

August 2016 News

27/08/2016 Cultist Massacres
Last night possible satanic cultists committed a string of murders. A security guard was killed in a werehouse near the train-lines. Not satisfied with this the cultists then killed 4 in an apparent meth lab. A visibly distressed Police Chief Jefferies released a statement. "Our prayers go out to the famalies of the security guard and the men killed at the other location. While the 4 men were known to police a crime such as this is not something that should be perpetrated on any member of the public. We will endeavour our utmost to determine the culprits of these atrocities. May God have mercy on their souls."

20/08/2016 Mine Investigation Continues
Investigations by Safework SA, representatives from the company and the unions are continuing. Early findings show that the collapse was isolated and limited to the new works. Previous works are being confirmed as safe before the mine opens to limited digging. Olympic Mines hopes that sometime in the next two weeks the mine will open.

14/08/2016 Mine Tragedy Kills 55
Disaster struck in the small hours of last night as expansion projects caused a collapse deep in the mine. The collapse was felt across the city, smashing glass and setting off alarms. It is believed that the entirety of the shift was killed but there is little hope for survivors. Safework SA has ordered the site secured and rescue crews and inspectors will be headed down tomorrow if the mine is determined to be safe.
Olympic Security is also morning the loss of its first responders who were killed when weakened struts collapsed onto their patrol cars. The thoughts of the staff at the Blue Tongue are with the 47 miners and their families as well as the 8 Security officers and their families.
Stay safe out there friends.

13/08/2016 Mental Health Services Pushed to the Brink
The mental health outpatient services of Saint Alexander's General Hospital are requesting additional funding to keep inline with a sharp increase in the number of patients over the last two months. Investigation has shown that of the new patients most are having nightmares about the mine and being pulled into it. Naturally the work in the mine is a high stress environment and when asked Dr Rivers, lead Psychologist at the clinic, said that while an increase in mental fatigue is expected with additional high stress work, she believes that this increase goes beyond what is normally expected. The spokesperson for Olympic Mining only commented to say that miners mental health is a private matter and the mine respects their privacy.

12/08/2016 More Minor Tremors
More minor tremors have been felt in the city. Olympic Mining has been contacted and said the tremors are inline with the explosive work and intensive drilling they are currently doing to the new seam of yellow cake.

08/08/2016 The Carnival is in Town
The Dark Carnival has arrived into town under the cover of night. Its tents flap in desert wind, enticing curious sorts in to see sights and sounds the like of which the city has not seen for some time. It isn’t known if they are staying for long but their call of ‘Roll up. Roll up’ can be heard just north of town. The Blue Tongue will be at opening night to get a review for you.

July 2016 News

18/07/2016 Mine Expansions a Massive Undertaking
The Olympic Dam mine is pleased to announce the ongoing work to open up a new section of the profitable mine. A spokes person has stated "We at the mine are pleased to bring further prosperity and jobs to the city of Roxby Downs in the climate of global uncertainty. We would like to thank the relevant authorities for not listening to the scaremongering of the noisy protesters last fortnight and instead focuing on the important things in life, jobs and prosperity for all."

03/07/2016 The Lizard Bites Back
A small by the numbers protest against economic prosperity is happened at the moment. Police have reported a 27% increase in drug arrests and a 11% increase in property crime arrests since the mob has arrived and illegally camped near the mine.

2/07/2016 Disaster at Fools’ Gold
The worst possible scenario happened at Fools’ Gold last night, when it ran out of Pale Ale. Patrons were forced to switch to VB in an act of desperation. Fools’ Gold have told The Blue Tongue that their next truck load of supplies will arrive in a few days.

June 2016 News

28/06/2016 Nothing to Get Shook Up Over
Olympic Dam officials have downplayed concerns over a series of minor tremors over the weekend stating that it was timed with a series of large blasting work. Roxby Downs’ council has sent a series of inspectors to the mines and the Blue Tongue has learned that the reports will show the tremors are from the blasting work.

26/06/2016
The beloved pet Poodle of the Mayor’s wife, Arlene Mitchell, has been found safe and well. The only ill effect of his disappearance for the last few days is that some lark spray painted his poofy tail day glow orange.

14/06/2016 Road Warriors
A family of three is lucky to be ok after a violent carjacking south of the city last night. The Weston family claim to have been run off the road by a motorcycle gang before having their car and possessions stolen. This is the third carjacking in the last two months and police claim not to have the resources required to scour the countryside looking for the perpetrators of these crimes.