Adelaide CofD News Stories

OOC: These news stories are published in various news outlets - TV, Radio, Newspaper etc. If your character does not subscribe to any of these things because they're a hermit or so ancient that these things are still very new to them, then disregard these news stories.

Glossary: Beefood (Buzzfeed), Twitbook (Facebook), Facewit (Twitter)

These news stories are entirely fictional and are written for entertainment purposes.

Last Update: 16/04/17

Another Baby Stolen (21/04/2017)
Another Baby has gone missing from the Womens and Childrens hospital not even a week after the first. 1 year old George Tibalt was stolen from his room early this morning after recovering from Surgery. His Mother and Father are devastated and blame the Hospital for its incapacity to care for its patients. Police once again have found CCTV footage to be lacking in evidence and are concerned for the Safety of other children inside the Hospital. Police Constable Rhiannon had this to say "Whomever you are, Please these are just children, Bring them back to their Parents. These are lives you're playing with." (Picture of a 1 year old smiling boy is seen here)

The Great Debate (16/04/2017)
For many years we have heard the Great Debate. Does pineapple go on pizza? Charlotte Newton, a Biologist at Flinders University, is trying to find out that exact question. "We have all been in those heated arguments late at night as we prepare to order our favourite greasy takeaway. So why not end the fighting and find out the REAL answer?" Her research is yet to take off the ground, but we are sure the results will be astounding.

Baby Stolen from Women's and Children's, Family devastated (13/04/2017)
Little William was stolen this morning from the Women's and Children's hospital only days after his birth. His mother waking this morning after a long and needed sleep only to find her baby boy gone. Nurses and Doctors have been searching high and low trying to find the baby. CCTV strangely has found no evidence of anyone going in or out of the room with the child. Police are now investigating the matter (picture of 7 day old baby here)

Easter Rush ends with Chocolate Shortage (12/04/2017)
With the Easter Holidays only days away everyone is rushing to their stores to pick out that foil covered brown sweet we have all come to know and love, Unfortunately supply and Demand was low this easter with nearly every store in South Australia running low on Chocolate. Witnesses are shocked and appalled at the failed insight into this holiday and the importance to have that famously addictive sweet in our homes this weekend, one had this to say. "How could they not know how much Chocolate they'd need? Its not like the city doubled in mouths this past year! We didn't have this issue last year! What an absolute Joke" Local confectionary maker Melba's Chocolates and confectioners had this to say in response. "We're not sure what happened? Our numbers were almost double what we made last year yet all the stock just flies out the door. We can't make enough to keep up with everyone this Easter". Please have your say in the poll at www.thisisafakelink.com ((ooc this is a real link IC not labeled as a fake link))

Dead Bodies found, Trident Stolen (09/04/2017)
Police were called to the Adelaide Museum last night where 2 adult males were found dead in the Museum's storage room. The two individuals had been hired as temporary security to protect the Trident the Museum was planning on revealing in May later this year. One of the Victims, Stanley Woods, Is a great loss to our society. His wife and child now left to fend for themselves in the world, they had this to say. "our Stanley was a very good man. He'd leave the house, go to work and earn a living and would then come back to myself and our daughter... I blame the man they found with him, this is all his fault". Police had no more to say about the investigation and will be making a press conference later in the week.

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Trident Uncovered from Ancient Underwater City (02/04/2017)
Archaeologists uncover a rare and fascinating find from the bottom of the Ocean close to the Bermuda triangle. The "Under-sea Trident" Has been donated to the Adelaide Museum and will be revealed to the public next month.

17 Ways This Local Psychic will Amaze you. You won't believe number 3 (24/03/2017)
Local Psychic and Mystic showman demonstrated his talent. Johnny Whisper, a Psychic with seven major crimes solved to his name, put on an amazing show for the crowd. Keeping with the surreal nature of the Fringe Whisper kept his act off beat and surreal.
1. Sleep of the Dead
<photo of woman laying on a table>
Johnny Whisper wowed the crowd by putting this woman in a hypnotic trance she appeared dead. Select members of the crowd were even asked to try to find her pulse and couldn't.
2. The Flickering Darkness
Calling to the spirits to come forward and aid him the lights started to flicker off, car, street and even the lights on phones.
3. Photos Can Lie
<A photo of the street. No Johnny>
Next Johnny just waved his hand a smiled. Told us it was photo time. He posed. A few people took photos. He told them to check the pictures. Through some illusion or trickery he was not on any of the pictures.
4. Any Card
While I have seen people do card tricks this one was new. Johnny had someone pick a card and show him. Then he let the crowd pass cards between them as they pleased. He focused his powers and pointed at one person. They revealed the card they had and presto, it was the selected card.
(The Article Continues...)

Mum's open day care for Un-vaccinated Children. (20/03/2017)
Sparks fly as Mother of 3 and self proclaimed Anti-Vax Queen Patricia Door announces to the public via Facewit that she's going to be Starting her own Day care specifically for Un-vaccinated Children. "Big Pharma has gotten into the public daycare system, telling us mothers how to raise our children by placing horrible toxins into their bodies. This way they can all get sick together and gain the natural immunity our body gets from being sick" Doctor Gregory Tristen from the Royal Adelaide Hospital had this to say in response "Patricia seems to be your run of the Mill Anti-Vaxer, Against anything her GP says even if its beneficial to her Children, Why anyone would want to leave their kids with her for 9 to 10 hours of the day baffles me" More on this story to come in the coming weeks.

Local Girl found stripped of Flesh (19/03/2017)
A young girl from North Adelaide Chelsea Burton's body was found last Friday night at 7:35pm in Kadlitpina Park. Officers are Baffled at the lack of witnesses with the Fringe so full of life. The young girls body was found hanging skinless from a Tree just above the "Freakshow" slideshow. Performers of the Fringe promise patrons that there will be no closure of events and that they will be helping the police with the Investigation as much as they can. If anyone has any information please contact police on 000.

Crime Increase, No one is Safe from the 5 finger Gangs (16/03/2017)
Adelaide Crime is on the Rise in recent days as Petty theft, Pick pocketing and Shoplifting reports soar. Many Patrons report underage kids banding together to create gangs of thieves that pick on small Deli's, Convenient Stores and your unsuspecting Grandmothers on their afternoon Bingo trip. Police urge civilians to keep an eye and ear out for these pesky minors.

Paper News Dead, Digital Era Evolves (12/03/2017)
Online Survey says Consumers don't bother buying the newspaper anymore. Instead your average Joe subscribes to his news on the internet on such famous sites like Faceter and Twitbook. Sam Weir Editor of The Advertiser has this to say. "The Digital Era may bring news Faster, but it doesn't always deliver the Facts. Click bait is everywhere these days and you never know if what you're reading is true or not" Joahna Sun one of Beefood's journalists responded with "Why go outside to get your news when it can all be had at the touch of a button? Sure not everything is right, but isn't that the same with the newspapers themselves? We can edit our work online but once its printed. You'd better hope you don't need to change anything" To have your say go to www.whyreadpaperwhyreadonline.org (OOC this is not a real link)


She lost 7 Kilos in less than 3 days, How she did it will Shock you! (11/03/2017)
Eliza Smith single mother of 3 Lives in Prospect just north of the City, in early July last year she found herself with a very odd lump growing just next to her nipple. After some careful consideration and coaching from her friends Eliza went to seek medical attention at the Womens and Childrens Hospital. The Lump baffled Doctors who after many tests concluded that the lump was not Cancer but was in fact a pocket full of Milk. Eliza had fallen to a Phantom Pregnancy so rare that even she didn't know it was happening. The Pocket was weighing her down at a whopping 7kg larger than her normal weight. It took the doctors less than 24 hours to drain the fluid and send her on her way.