Princess Pwnage
She's dead, Jim.
About
When she was little Princess Pwnage was a (relatively) normal girl. She enjoyed watching her favourite shows and spending time with friends. But she also wanted so much more than she had. Her parents had joined the Cult of The Protector and they taught her some of their ways, and one night she even joined them at a big pool party celebration.
She remembers falling unconscious and a hot paramedic. When she finally woke up the next day (after her awakening) she set about playing with her new-found power until she was found by Emperor Nathan. With her magic came a white cat who followed her around and spoke to her. Initially, she listened, but when the cat told her to keep her powers hidden, she came to the conclusion that it wanted to keep her to itself so it could use her and her magic and then turn her into a witch. So she killed it. Then she killed it again. Every time it came back it increased her belief that the cat was actually just a Kyubey. She then hunted it ruthlessly. Finally she met someone who was able to show her the truth before things became too bad.
Princess is a Magical Girl. She had a staff named Happiness and a wand named Glitter. There was an accident and Glitter was lost to her. She still has her boomstick Happiness. She believes she knows all about the vampire and werewolf problems as well, because she's seen enough to know, and that they must all be killed before they can become a serious threat. She's also the Queen of Cosplay, obviously!
Princess used to have a best friend named Milly. But she was responsible for Milly being knocked unconscious too many times and doesn't spend much time with her anymore.
She really likes spending time with the other mages. They're really nice. Well, except that one mage, Pipper. Pepper is the Succubitch!
Quotes
Quotes By
"This is Ackbar, He's my second in command."
- - Introducing Ackbar.
"That's our dog Anubis. He was raising people from the dead before it was cool."
- - Introducing Anubis.
"He hates magic."
- - Introducing Beckett.
"He sleeps a lot."
- - Introducing Ri'Neref.
"But I wanna kill something."
- - Whining to Ackbar when he told her she wasn't allowed to kill the stranger.
"He's so pretty."
- - Swooning over Set.
"They should just be glad I even want to be a part of their stupid little party. It would be nothing without me."
- - How she feels about the Adamantine Arrow.
Quotes About
"Please don't encourage Princess Problem-Child."
- - Beckett.
"For f***'s sake Princess Paradox, I don't hate magic! >.<"
- - Beckett.
"Hey! Joan of LARP!"
- - Beckett.
"NO. No, no, no, no, no, no no no, no. Noooo, no, no NO."
"Ric, yeah, no, I'm down in Canberra. Because reasons. Soon, okay? Listen, I met her. She's a bigger fuck-up than you, it's great. I like her. No, look, she's a problem, definitely gonna need to be dealt with someday, but I like her."
- - Sash, on the phone to her best friend, September, 2014.
"Hey, pay no mind to me. Sorry 'bout all the profanity, and shit. Maybe I'm just angry because I just had to go elbow-deep in the weeks-old demon-possessed corpse of an unjustly-executed high school student who fucking trusted us."
- - a clenched-jawed Sash, January, 2015.
Conversations
- Pwnage - "He said they were friends for now. What does he mean by 'for now'?"
- Ackbar - "They're friends, so no killing them"
- Pwnage - "Not even a little bit?"
- Ackbar - "No, they're our friends..."
- Pwnage - "Okay, tell me when they're enemies and I get to kill them."
- Freak - "Hi, I'm Frea-"
- Pwnage - "Hi, don't care. Beckett, how did you infiltrate the entire fricken Arrow? They're all as batshit insane as you are"
- Beckett - "I..."
- Pwnage - "Oh, also," moves aside to let Freak into the conversation "Have you met the freak in a lab coat over here?"
- - After she picked a fight with Artemis at the Adamantine Arrow meeting at Conclave 2014
- Cuffs - "Why?"
- Dornelia - "What?"
- Cuffs - "Why do you care about her so much?"
- Dornelia - "Because that could've been me."
- There's a moment of silence.
- Cuffs - "Or me."
- - A quiet conversation after Conclave.
Rumours
- She's being drugged by another mage in Canberra.
- At least, he would be if he could get the formula right.
- She only kills her familiar because she likes to feel its fear.
- Not anymore. Dornelia fixed that.
- She wants to be a bear, even if she pretends to be too good for that.
- She doesn't ALWAYS want to kill everyone, she even suggested keeping people alive once.
- She's a psychopath.
- You can't prove that.