The Blue Tongue

The Blue Tongue

All the news that is fit to print in Roxby Downs

3/07/2016 The Lizard Bites Back
A small by the numbers protest against economic prosperity is happened at the moment. Police have reported a 27% increase in drug arrests and a 11% increase in property crime arrests since the mob has arrived and illegally camped near the mine.

2/07/2016 Disaster at Fools’ Gold
The worst possible scenario happened at Fools’ Gold last night, when it ran out of Pale Ale. Patrons were forced to switch to VB in an act of desperation. Fools’ Gold have told The Blue Tongue that their next truck load of supplies will arrive in a few days.

28/06/2016 Nothing to Get Shook Up Over
Olympic Dam officials have downplayed concerns over a series of minor tremors over the weekend stating that it was timed with a series of large blasting work. Roxby Downs’ council has sent a series of inspectors to the mines and the Blue Tongue has learned that the reports will show the tremors are from the blasting work.

26/06/2016 The beloved pet Poodle of the Mayor’s wife, Arlene Mitchell, has been found safe and well. The only ill effect of his disappearance for the last few days is that some lark spray painted his poofy tail day glow orange.

14/06/2016 Road Warriors
A family of three is lucky to be ok after a violent carjacking south of the city last night. The Weston family claim to have been run off the road by a motorcycle gang before having their car and possessions stolen. This is the third carjacking in the last two months and police claim not to have the resources required to scour the countryside looking for the perpetrators of these crimes.